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Dear Almost Partner

Dear Almost Partner,

How are you?

I hope you are doing very well. You still look cute in your pictures by the way. And that one with you biting your lower lip? It still kind of makes me want to see you right away and kiss you again.

And as they say, almost will never be enough.

How long has it been? 5 year ? I’ve not also dated any girl but you being the first after my last relationship, kind of set standards for everyone else who followed. In the nature department, you’re still at the top .

What if I had you? What if we became official and we were in relationship ? Don’t you think about it sometimes? Because I do. Nah, it’s not that I haven’t moved on. When you’re single and bored, you tend to think of these things just to pass time.

I would have been at your place yesterday and you could have cooked for me I must say your cooking was really good. I don’t know. Even the reheated pizza we had for breakfast was great. Maybe because I ate it with you.

We would have then gone to the mall to watch Jungle Book. I’m not sure if you would have liked it. I wasn’t really given the chance to know more of you. You were quiet and reserved when we were still talking and I just had to fill in the blanks in between.

That’s what’s bad about me having to make up for your silence. I made my own little stories inside my head which made me think you liked me too. Liked in the sense of us being partners.

I would make up excuses for your being not expressive and will tell myself of possible reasons why you weren’t exerting as much effort as I did.

Anyway, we could have then had dinner somewhere not too fancy and had ice cream after. Remember that one time when we ran in the rain just to get ice cream from a store near your place? Definitely one for the books.

We would then head back to your place and make love. I would have heard again the strange noise you make when you try to be sexy; I’m sure you weren’t conscious that you were doing that, but I liked it. I would have seen that look in your eyes again, your hairy thighs and felt your kisses that only I gave meaning to.

If you think about it, you would have not been my almost boyfriend. You could be my boyfriend now. And all the things I mentioned above would have not been wasted chances and possibilities but rather sweet memories.

This could have been a love letter and not a blog post.
There could have been an us. And I could have ended this with love.

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Posted by on September 19, 2018 in random thoughts

 

Define your own Philosophy

“I am sad because life sucks. My life sucks”, she cried.”Why do you need to be sad if life sucks. You know what? Life sucks because you learn the blues and not the yellows”, I replied.

“What does that mean?” She sobbed.”We become tough as a stone while what life teaches us to flow like a river”, I said.

“I don’t get it. If life throws lemons at you, you can’t feel sweetness. Right. That’s an old saying”, she said.”Fuck the old saying. Listen to what I have to say”.”Hmmmmm”.

“Why doesn’t one become good to people because once he was mistreated and he knows how it feels? Why doesn’t he become appreciative of others because once he was insulted? Why doesn’t he become empathetic towards others because he was hurt once?Why doesn’t he stop judging people because once he was judged by others? Why doesn’t he become more understanding of others because once he was misunderstood and bitched about? Why doesn’t he become more giving because he didn’t receive the love and care from the people he deeply loved once? Why doesn’t he become sweet because he knows what bitterness is and how he felt once when people were bitter towards him.

I am bitter because my girlfriend left me. I am angry because my friends didn’t care for me. I am rude because no matter how good I was with people I was betrayed in the end. I am cruel because people have hurt me and have never turned around to look if I am alright. Why? Why carry their dark sides and learn the negative feelings? Why don’t you learn from your own sufferings? Why do you have to carry the legacy of those who did bad things to you. If you would keep doing that the world would never be a better place to live in. You don’t need to read Socrates and Aristotle to know about life’s philosophy. They never read others. Pay attention to your own life and don’t do those things to others because of which you suffered a great deal once. Because life gave you lemons once you don’t need to squirt it in the eyes of others. Swallow the lemon(like Shiva swallowed the venom) and learn the lesson to make it a point that you wouldn’t become like one but you would spread the light because you knew once what darkness felt like. 

 
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Posted by on September 6, 2018 in random thoughts

 

Shadow

 
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Posted by on August 27, 2018 in random thoughts

 

Can we just fall in love again

Can we just fall in love again without bringing the past? I’ll forget the heartbreak and I’ll pretend the all the scars were there because I fell down the stairs if you forget all the mistakes I done, how I take this love for granted and all the poetry I’ve written that weren’t always kind. They were never kind. Not to you and not even to me. Let’s experience the things that makes us fall in love with each other again. Let’s saw each other face and smile instantly, how warm traveled all over me when I saw that light in your eyes. Let’s have those midnight phone calls and just skip sleep altogether. Tell me everything again like you never told me before. I’ll throw away the fears. I’ll throw away the “how many other boys she’s done this to”, the “I should reply this longer than she takes to reply”, the “I should talk to other girls so I don’t look so in love with her” Because time is running out. It keeps blowing strikes to me at heart. Each a reminder of how I let this go. How I let my soul learn how to get used to all these spaces between us. When all I ever wish was skin on skin. So let’s just fall in love again. Tenderly. Innocently. Quickly. Recklessly. Boldly. Bravely. Like we never hurt each other. Don’t mind the scars. We can save each other later. Let’s just fall in love again.

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2018 in random thoughts

 

The Rejected Dream

It was a dream,woven with love and care,
It was a dream,turned to reality, they shared,dream grew in to tree, so tall
with time, with the insults
Grew stronger like a wall,
It knew it’s fate,
It knew it’s past,
But it put up it’s shoes,
And moulded in to it’s cast……
Little was the dream,
But bigger it aimed,
Like a candid picture framed,
It never wanted to be tamed,
But, the world was not that space,
It was not a safe place,
They tamed it, put it behind the bars,
To rescue it from the cruel war,
But it found it’s way out,
It’s rebel was it’s silent shout,
after all,through the hard times,it survived
This rejected dream always revived

 
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Posted by on July 22, 2018 in random thoughts

 

ट्रेंड

आज-कल का ट्रेंड सब पर भारी है,
हर कोई बन रहा राइटर और कोई कर रहा शायरी है।
कुछ लोग सिक्स वर्ड स्टोरी तो कोई दो शब्द लिख रहा है
पर मतलब कोई नहीं समझ रहा है।
कोई अपने आप को drenched thoughts बोल रहा है
तो कोई इंसोमनिक राइटर हुआ जा रहा है।
पर वो सुख और सादगी को खोता जा रहा है
हो रहे है कोलबोरशन और
नई कहानियाँ लिखी जा रही है।
और यह ट्रेंड तो सब पर भारी है
लोग ख़ुद को दे रहे टाइटल और ख़िताब है
पर सच्चाई से तो वे भी अनजान है
अंग्रेजी का प्रहार लगता है हिन्दी साहित्य पर भारी है
कुछ मोड़ लिया हमने अपने आप को कुछ इस कदर
ना तो शोहरत न अब रही नाम की फ़िकर
हम तो बस अपने जज़्बात लिखा करते है
नाम और शोहरत से अपने आप को कुछ इस कदर दूर रखा करते है
ना जाने कब कोई लांछन लगा दे
क्या पता कब कोई कॉन्ट्रोवर्सी में ही फ़सा दे
हम तो बस अपनी दुनिया में मग्न है
तब से तो बस जिंदगी में अमन है

 
2 Comments

Posted by on July 7, 2018 in random thoughts

 

रफू

 
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Posted by on July 6, 2018 in random thoughts

 
 
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