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The First Kiss

“You can’t do it.” she teased me.
I was nervous. What if didn’t turn out to be good? What if my throat pretended to be a frog and started making weird noises? What if I sneezed? What if I bit his lip instead of kissing? Fuck! I was nervous? I was fucking scared!
“Shut up!” I said in a not-so-angry manner.
“Nah! Leave it.” she said, patting my hand.
she turned around to leave when i held her hand, gripping it firmly. She turned around. Her eyes met mine. She smiled.
I pulled her t-shirt and she fell on top of me, with just an inch of distance between us. I could feel her breath kissing mine. Her hands were on either side of my shoulders, helping her to not completely fall on me. SHe kept looking in my eyes, deep.
I had no idea about the next step. A minute passed. Nothing happend. Another one passed. She just kept looking at me, waiting, patiently. I closed my eyes, gave up on my thoughts and before i could do anything she spoke.
“Open your eyes.” she said.
I opened my eyes. She smiled.
“We just kissed.” she said.
Was i drunk? Of course not! We didn’t kiss!
“What?” I asked, confused.
“We, just kissed.” she said it again.
I did not understand what she meant.
she did kiss my confused lips within a second but i didn’t understand what she meant.

Now I know.

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Posted by on September 20, 2019 in random thoughts

 

Love -It is Unreasonable

Love -It is unreasonable “I cant be with u forever.”she whisperd closing her eyes. “Why are u saying that?”he bellowed holding her shaking in his arms. He kissed on the top of her head gathering the bundle of misres in his hands. “No…No”she whimpered pushing him away with her hands. “What happened?”he held her arms more closer to himself. She traced his tear striken face with her trembling fingers feeling the pain she infused. “I cant..I am destroying you.”she blinked her tears from her eyes, the eyes which she never used. “I love you fool !”he yelled as she rubbed the tears from his face which she never saw. “You can’t destroy your life looking after me.” she hussed struggling to free from his grip “You are my life.” he smiled sadly. She heaved sighly. “I can’t be a burden on you.”she felt his grip loosen. Although she wanted that to happen her heart wished opposite.

Damm this love!!!! “Oh!! so you think I have sympathy for you?” she heard his voice, once the happy voic,
she remained silent “Listen” he reached before her tucking the hair perfectly. He love those hair of her “Please. !”she yelled moving sideways only to get hurt on her head. “Ahhhh!! ” she winced “Shit cant you see?” he regretted this words “Thats the point I am blind and I m a trouble on you” she groaned tears pouring out of her eyes “I love you still !” he brushed the wound to clean it with sleeves of his shirt. “Why ??” she sobbed. “Love, it is unreasonable..you feel in love in most unexpected time..as I feel for you” she heard his cheerful voice hitting her ears. meanwhile he kneeled down on his knees and said “Baby,I love you from my core of my heart. would you be my better half, would you be grow old with me, would you be at every step of my life with me, would you be my soulmate?” At last she listened to her heart n nodded and that moment she felt cold solid ring between her finger. “I am your light that guides your way” he whispered moving his lips down and their lips met as he absorbed in her agonies gifting her a shimmering tale to adore vapourizing her insecurities with his love….

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2019 in random thoughts

 

To Future Life Partner

Dear Wife

Your beauty blinds me because it comes from your heart and it is reflected in your eyes.
I wonder how I couldn’t notice such a magnificent flower like you before.
You are beautiful, you made me believe that this world is worth living in.
Your beauty captures me, but what amazes me is that it is wonderfully combined with your amazing soul.
There is nobody more beautiful in this world that a woman in love, so there is nobody more beautiful than you.
Magic is when I see ur eyes and the feel the spark between the hearts. You are wonderful
Do you know which thing I like the most about you? That you are beautiful inside and out.
Even if I were blind, I could still see your beauty, because it is in your soul and it can be seen only with a heart.
When you go, you turn heads, I am so lucky to have you
It’s a pity it’s impossible to hold a beauty contest among the angels because then you would have won.
In my eyes, you are the most beautiful and tender woman in the whole world. I love you.
Your beauty cannot be ignored, it is something unbelievable because it not only pleases my eyes but also warms my heart.
Even if you do not believe that you are beautiful, look into my eyes and you’ll be surprised by your pretty reflection.
To wake up every morning and to see your beautiful smile is the sense of my life. You are fantastic.
Everything and everyone in this world can be replaced except you, my Dream wife!
Still, I can’t understand how God could create such an ideal woman like you, you are perfect from the toes to the head.
Even thousands of orchids can’t compare to your beauty, you are unique.
Your soul is like an ocean, it doesn’t matter how deep I dive into your depths, I will never reach the bottom.
Never forget that you are a talented, amazing, and wonderful woman in the world.
Even when you are sad, remember that you are beautiful and the whole world is yours.
You are beautiful, for me, you are the best woman in the world.
Let each your day start with words: “I am beautiful, I am lucky, I deserve the best in this world”.
Each side of your appearance and each trait of your character are beautiful

 
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Posted by on July 11, 2019 in random thoughts

 

Hope

It hurts to love someone and not be reciprocated, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to tell that person how you feel. Maybe God wants us to know a few wrong people before meeting the right person, to finally know when, know how to be grateful for this wonderful gift. One of the saddest things in life is when you meet someone who means everything and just to realize that in the end it was not for you and you have to let go. When the door of happiness closes, another door opens, but sometimes we look so long that door was closed, we do not see that has opened before us. It is true that we know what we have until we lose it, but it’s also true that we do not know what we’ve been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that you will include, but not expect to be appropriate; only expected to grow love in the heart of the other person, but does not grow is happy that grew in yours. There are things you’d love to hear you never hear it from the person who you would have said them, but do not be so deaf not to hear of him who says from his heart. Never say goodbye if you still want to try. Never give up if you feel you can keep fighting. Never tell a person who already do not love if you can not let go. Love comes to those who wait, but they have disappointed those who still believe, although it has been betrayed; one who still need love, but has been hurt before and who has the courage and faith to build trust again. The beginning of love is to let those we know to be themselves and not treat them to turn to our own image, because then we will love only the reflection of ourselves in them. Do not go outside, this can fool you, do not go for wealth because even that is lost; go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day shine. I hope

 
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Posted by on May 4, 2019 in random thoughts

 

A wanderer in the wilderness

I have been scrolling through my previous blog entries for a couple of days now, even those dating back from three years ago. Who would have thought I would be so different now from the Boy I used to be?

There was just so much anger. I never thought I’d say this but I really was a very much ignored . After reading those entries, I decided to just delete a lot of them. Mainly because I realized I was so stupid when I decided to write them. I was a teenager. There was just too much angst, so much emotion and too little experience. It felt like I was a stranger going through somebody else’s personal notes. It felt so foreign to me that I can’t even remember writing some of them and even worse, why I wrote them. But where I should have felt shame, there was pride.

Stagnant. That would be the perfect word to describe my life if someone would have asked me a few days ago. After looking back and really reliving the emotions that heedlessly consumed me during the darkest days of growing up, I came to think that I did get somewhere. That the current of life led me where I am today. This may not be the destination that I wanted myself to be in three years ago but knowing that I’m somewhere is actually better than the thought of being nowhere. And knowing that I am nowhere near where I used to be makes it feel alright.

People would usually say that ‘God has plans’. Before, I would have said at the back of my mind that yeah, God has plans because that one time He gave you a chance to plan for yourself, you screwed it up. Seeing my former self with different eyes now changed the way I see everything I’ve been through. Maybe I was destined to feel pain so that I would know what happiness would feel like. What if God wanted me to feel alone so that I could appreciate the people who would come my way? What if indeed there was a plan?

I may not see it now but maybe someday I’d get to finish the story of my life and when I get the chance to read it, I’ll see commas I’ll realize that the pauses in every sentence I made were not meant to make my story incomprehensible, but to the contrary, they made it even more meaningful.

 
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Posted by on April 12, 2019 in random thoughts

 

A Big Thanks To You All

Thank you lovelies.

I may not reply to all the coments much , but they mean so much to me i can’t even put into words. I always loved writing and actually started posting them . I remember every single second i’ve spent writing down whatever I have. All the pain and hurt and sadness comes right back at me when I read what i wrote because I remember every reason I wrote it and I kept writing because it helped through a lot! It helped me get everything out of my heart and put all my emotions in words and it got easier for me to accept things once I read whats on my mind on a paper. I never really think of myself to be any good at this, nor would i ever classify myself as a. Good writer and I really hate when people compare them self with me i know that I am not that gud in writing . I just write because I love to, because it’s my passion and I want people to know that whatever they are going through, they are not alone. You lovelies, I mean… you all make my day with your comments and messages. How you all love what I write and appreciate it and relate to it and support me. It makes my bad days good and good days a thousand times better. I come here and read everything you all have ever written to me because it makes me smile this big huge smile! And i feel appreciated and good about something for once. I remember how i once lost all hope and i got the cutest words coming from you all, it was one of the best thing. For all this, i literally can not thank you all enough for the little things that matter the most.
I love you all so much


 
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Posted by on March 4, 2019 in random thoughts

 

Will You Marry Me

He sat on the shore and let the saline air hit his face and body. The blue light being scattered away, the sky was filled with a red orange glow. The sun was setting into the horizon, creating quiet a scene that no one could resist looking at the beauty of it.

But, his eyes were not looking at the wonderful sight, they were actually staring into the distance. His thoughts were filled with her, her smile, her eyes, her visage. He shook his head trying to clear his mind. “Enough is enough”, he thought.
His vision now not being blinded by his thoughts, he tried to chew in his surroundings. He noticed the light blaze in the dusking sky. It looked like the light was slowly fading, taking away all the beauty from the sky. Something made him metaphorize this to his own life. His thoughts immediately drifted to her. He imagined how his sky would be if his light faded away. The anxiety and the insecure feeling that came from this thought made him realize what a fool he was to let her go. He glanced at his watch, he still had like 15min to reach her, before she left town for college. “If she leaves before I reach her, that’s it she’s gone forever “, he thought. He stood up on his feet, tightened his shoe laces and started running. He ran like his life depended on that. Who is he kidding? Of course, his life depended on it, she was his life. He did not slow down his pace, until he saw the blue Corolla parked outside the gate. He finally saw her, trying with great effort to lift the huge luggage to put it in the trunk. He walked towards her, trying not to attract any attention.
“Lemme do it”, he told and gently grabbed the bag from her hand. She turned around after giving out a loud squeak, shock taking over her beautiful face. He placed the bag on the trunk and looked at her.
“What are you doing here?”, she questioned him, placing her hands on her hips and adding an extra effect to the dramatism.
“Came to see you of course”, he told in a very casual tone with a pinch of desperation in it.
“I thought we….”, she started
“Ended things, I know”, he cut in.
He felt that there was no time to waste or any chances to take. He thought the only option was to do something which would swipe her off her heel. He bent on his knee and held her hand.
“Sweetheart, I know we are terrible for each other. I know we fight every living hour. I also know that this would continue. But I also happen to know that, I am crazily, madly and uncontrollably in love with you and you know why? It’s ‘cuz of the fights we have and the way the intensity of our love grows with each and every fight. I know this is too much but I also happen to know one more thing. I wanna spend my life with you. I want you by my side every single day. I wanna marry you. So please, will you marry me?”, he finished his proposal without a pause and looked at her. He noticed her eyes turn glossy. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but hesitated.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have a ring right now”, he added and looked at her, expectantly. She bent down and slowly, smoothly, swiftly placed her lips over his. Well, that’s all he needed for an approval!

 
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Posted by on February 20, 2019 in random thoughts

 
 
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