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Fear of commitment

02 Oct

Recently one of the spiritual teachers I look up to and who inspires me tremendously “Teal Swan” posted a video on “How to overcome the fear of commitment” which pushed me to post about this. This is a very real and crippling fear for me. It almost seemed like something I was born with, and being that my Saturn and Sun are both in air signs it is no surprise that I am naturally extremely prone to this fear. My fear of commitment does not stop at  relationships it goes far beyond that. I have self destructed for years through not committing in every way. I am making myself very vulnerable here as this information can easily be used against me. This is something I have really been working on confronting and this is but another step in the process. The fear of commitment like all fears stems from childhood expeirences and trauma. Ultimately there is a underlying fear of self sacrifice with the result of being disappointed, hurt, or not having our expectations met. People who have a fear of commitment grew up being very afraid of the world, and as a result become unable to put their trust and heart into anything; whether it is a relationship or a goal. In extreme cases it seeps into every aspect of your life. Slowly I’m learning to overcome this fear; the fear of feeling as if I have wasted so much invested time, of wasting emotion, of sacrificing for something that would ultimately lead to damage, and disappointment. I do realize this is completely unhealthy and not progressive. I have been consciously working through it for almost a year now. I have committed myself to many things and the struggle has been so incredibly real but so worth it. My life is actually going somewhere now, I am growing as a person, building a foundation for a successful future, and I am learning what it means to feel safe and grounded in this crazy world. Not committing is what made me feel safe, as long as I did not invest my heart into something I wouldn’t be threatened by the unending doom of pain and disappointment. I have to remind myself daily that in order to become anything, one must take risks. One must risk being hurt and disappointed. Take the risk.

Nodoubt_complicated

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2 Comments

Posted by on October 2, 2015 in random thoughts

 

2 responses to “Fear of commitment

  1. 4 year old adult

    October 2, 2015 at 6:42 AM

    A well-balanced post. As per me, disappointments are vital part of personal growth. Keep writing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

     

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