From A Lover’s Diary -” No Matter What The Future Hold I Know I want To Spend It With You “

06 Apr

My love for you is not something that I can even begin to accurately describe. Trust me, I have tried. Tried to put words to the madness. To the complexity of emotions that overwhelm me at the very thought of you. “I love you” is typically all that I can come up with, because it makes a long story short. It sums up the things that I am incapable of summing up.

I cannot even pinpoint the exact moment it happened. The moment I knew you were the person I wanted to grow old with. It was slow, gradual, and then all at once, it just happened. I woke up one morning and I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it. My life stopped being my own. I started thinking in matters of “us” and “ours”. We were a collective thing, you and me.

My soul literally felt connected to yours. Our bodies and lives intertwined in a messy chaos. I was a part of you, and you were a part of me. And to my surprise, this feeling continued to get stronger. My love for you seemed to have no limits, no boundaries. It grew and deepened and consumed me. Every inch of my body ached for you. Every thought in my mind pertained to you. And no matter how big my love got, no matter how many times I thought I couldn’t possibly love you any more than I do in this very moment, I was continued to be proven wrong.

For some reason, I am pretty terrible at expressing these feelings. I struggle to make you know, really know, how I feel about you. And it breaks my heart. I wish you could see you the way that I see you. I wish you could feel the way that you make my heart soar with a simple look. I wish you could comprehend the infinite times a day I think of you and smile.

It is difficult for me to express, because it is not something I have ever felt before. It is not something I have ever let myself feel before. But with you, no amount of defense mechanisms could keep you away. You tore down my walls like they were nothing and showed me what it meant to live. Really live.

We have our differences. You are very much a free-spirit, somebody who seeks adventure and refuses to make plans. You can make friends any where you go, with everybody that you meet. I am just a shy girl from Kansas who thrives on routine and freaks out when I am not in control. But this is what I love about us. That we compliment one other. That we make each other whole. That we challenge ourselves to grow and change and go outside our comfort zones. You are the ying to my yang.

I may not have all the answers, and I most certainly am going to make mistakes. But if there is one thing that I can promise you, without any doubt in my mind, is that I have every intention of spending every single day loving you. And learning to do it better and more completely and in the ways that you need me to. Because you are the man I hope to spend forever with. My red string. The love of my life.

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Posted by on April 6, 2016 in love, lover's diary


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