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Still Wondering 

15 Aug

​​You know what? I’ll try to forget you. I’m giving myself a chance because I deserve a chance at love. I deserve to love and be loved in return. Maybe someday I’ll have the guts to tell you how I feel, maybe you’ll reject me, maybe you’ll say it’s too late, but what I’m sure of is that you won’t feel the same and as much as I want you to like me back, it will never happen because you’re too much of a coward to even admit to yourself how you feel. Yes, I do regret not telling you when I had the chance. I could have told you the last time I got drunk, I could have told you before you decided to lead another road different to mine, I could have told you when I still had you as friend, because believe it or not, it’s so much harder when I have to face you as a stranger now. How could we have come to this? Everything just feels so unfair. Why did you have to treat me so well when another Girl was treating me like shit? How dare you make me fall and not catch me after all? How could you act so differently to everything you say? Because I could have played your stupid mind game forever. I could have settled with being just your friend while enjoying the way you treat me like a lover. But no, because you had to go away and put a stop to the only thing that has kept me happy for a year. And now, seeing you for the first time in a very long time, I can feel the distance between us creeping up in every small conversation we have, the awkwardness of not having anything to say, walking side by side, almost touching but the wall between us is just too big to break. It’s not the same and it will never be the same again.

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Posted by on August 15, 2016 in random thoughts

 

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