And he said, “Goodbye.”.
This was the day I most dreaded. My world came to a standstill. The past few years with him raced through my mind like a movie being rewound, all the good and bad, all the best and worst, all the joy and sorrows, all the make ups and tears, everything. WHY, I asked myself. What went wrong ? We had tried so hard, to stay together. We had agreed that no ego , no issue, no sorrow was greater than us being together. We had promised we would have each other’s backs, and be there to guide each other. We had promised that we would be each others’ strength just as much as weakness and never let the other sink. We had promised that there wouldn’t be ‘you’, ‘i’ or ‘me’. We were in this together until death do us apart.
Then what went wrong? In spite of all the efforts to not have expectations and to love the other unconditionally?
I miss him. I miss how he would make me understand that our love is so special, it shouldn’t to compared to anyone else. I miss how he would hold me close and hug me tight when he saw the scars on my body, and assure me that everything would be alright. I miss how he would try so hard to make me believe in myself and never give up on me even when I refused to understand. I miss how he would kiss my forehead each time I called myself pathetic. I miss how he would get restless at not having met me for months. I miss how his world revolved around me. I miss how I was the only person he would share his sorrows with. I miss how he would tell me that he found it difficult to trust anyone but me. I miss how he would tell me stories of other women trying to hit on him and that how he told them about me. I miss how we used to plan out the movies to watch and the places to visit. I miss the feeling that you would always be there for me. I miss our drunk nights and how scared you were of horror movies. I miss how you held my hand and made me believe that we would never get too old .
Sigh. Its been 5 years now and I wonder when I will get over it. More than anything, what I think I miss most, is the idea of spending the rest of my life with the only person who has seen the most of me.