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Daily Archives: July 7, 2017

If Everyone Says You’re Worth Loving, But You Still Can’t Seem To Find Love

I can’t write down a list of the names (or I should say “the ghosts”) that have told me something and made my face turn red.

I’m being explicit with their word use. That’s how that magic works. It’s rarely physical. Words can connect us in ways that skin cannot.

Some people invest months telling me every day that I’m handsome. They say I’m sweet and funny. Sometimes, when I’m sleepy or drunk and I talk without having any consideration on consequences, I can be kind of sexy.

Then again I’m going to emphasize that is only the result of combining certain words that somehow make sense.

I’ve been told that I’m kissable, that I’m huggable. I’ve received some invitations to “sleep under a star blanket,” just because “it’ll be cute to live that scenario with me.”

Nobody thinks I’m good enough.

Others have pointed out how lucky will be the person I’ll marry someday. But nobody actually wants to do it.

Nobody thinks I’m good enough. Everybody is pissed at how long I hold a person I have feelings for during a hug. The pitch of my voice is insufferable whenever I say I’m glad, happy or satisfied with the company of certain person. I’m just too intense for expressing my thoughts and feelings.

And I’m so used to people who vanish, that I’ve learnt to excuse them.

I have this hypothesis where I think I’m a non-solved mystery in the universe. As a result of that uncommon category, people will comment on it and spread the word, after all, they all sound and look interesting.But truth is, a quick research washes out every attempt on understanding such an unnecessary answer you could live your life without.

And that’s exactly what I am.

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2017 in random thoughts

 

Loving Someone Is A Bit Like Holding A Small Bird

Once, a bird flew in through an open door of my house and darted frantically around the living room and kitchen. Eventually, it calmed and hid behind a decorative pot on a high shelf. I quietly climbed up up on a step-stool, reached behind the pot and somehow managed to enclose thI can’t write down a list of the names (or I should say “the ghosts”) that have told me something and made my face turn red.

I’m being explicit with their word use. That’s how that magic works. It’s rarely physical. Words can connect us in ways that skin cannot.

Some people invest months telling me every day that I’m handsome. They say I’m sweet and funny. Sometimes, when I’m sleepy or drunk and I talk without having any consideration on consequences, I can be kind of sexy.

Then again I’m going to emphasize that is only the result of combining certain words that somehow make sense.

I’ve been told that I’m kissable, that I’m huggable. I’ve received some invitations to “sleep under a star blanket,” just because “it’ll be cute to live that scenario with me.”

Nobody thinks I’m good enough.

Others have pointed out how lucky will be the person I’ll marry someday. But nobody actually wants to do it.

Nobody thinks I’m good enough. Everybody is pissed at how long I hold a person I have feelings for during a hug. The pitch of my voice is insufferable whenever I say I’m glad, happy or satisfied with the company of certain person. I’m just too intense for expressing my thoughts and feelings.

And I’m so used to people who vanish, that I’ve learnt to excuse them.

I have this hypothesis where I think I’m a non-solved mystery in the universe. As a result of that uncommon category, people will comment on it and spread the word, after all, they all sound and look interesting.

But truth is, a quick research washes out every attempt on understanding such an unnecessary answer you could live your life without.

And that’s exactly what I am.

e bird in my hand without it getting away. I could feel its small form fluttering and struggling inside my hand, and I was careful to keep my fingers loosely closed around it so that I didn’t squeeze too tightly while I carried it outside to release it.

Loving someone is a bit like holding a small bird. Care is required in the handling of the bond between hearts. Love’s paradox is that it’s both an incredibly powerful thing, and delicate in nature. Betrayal or neglect are not the only ways that love dies. It can also be smothered or crushed. By clutching out of fear or possessiveness, we may kill it. Negative experiences in past relationships may make us fearful of losing this wonderful love we have discovered, and so our instinct is to grasp tightly. Ironically, this choke hold on a heart can stifle the other person and lead to the very loss of love which we are afraid of.

Embrace your lover’s heart in openness and trust. Hold love softly and grow confident in the connection you share with them. Give it room to breathe, flutter its wings, and soar freely from your open hands. We cannot force love, but we can nurture it. With that nurture, our love will grow stronger and fly to new heights. Fear constricts our hearts, but trust expands them. Choose to trust love.

 

 
3 Comments

Posted by on July 7, 2017 in random thoughts

 

Feeble lover

I do not want you to be weak.

But when you are weak, that will be the time I will love you the most.

I do not want you to be vulnerable.

But when the time comes you’ll get to be vulnerable, I will be the stronger pillar within our relationship.

I do not want you to cry.

But when you cry, I will let you know that every teardrop you shed, represents a reason why I will love you more everyday.

I do not want you to die.

But when the time comes that you have to leave this world, I will assure you that I will be there and die too, with you.
When you are in pain, I love how you ask for love and comfort.
I love it when I get to be the one who takes care of you. I like bringing you food. I like preparing your breakfast, lunch and dinner. I like going with you everywhere you want to go. I love road-tripping with you at the most unlikely hours of the day. I will skip a work day for you. I will stay in bed with you and hug you tight.
I love it when you are in pain.
When you are in trouble, I love how you are so scared and just try to fit yourself in every hole of my body.
I love how you hold my hand so tight. I love how you look straight to my eyes and tell me that you need me. I love it when you do not want to leave my side. I love it when you seek shelter in me. I love it when you get to imagine I have the purest soul of all people you know. I love it how you validate me as your partner in crime.
I love it when you are in trouble.
When you feel so lonely and down, I love it when you seek for my guidance.
I love to be the clown to cheer you up. I love to be the stairs to lift up your spirits. I love to be your sanctuary. I love how you can share everything with me without having to worry about my own judgments and opinions. I love it how you sound so fragile, that you let me cover you up. I love how you look so gloomy and ask me to be the light in this world of darkness. I love to be the girl who will put a smile on your face overtime you get to frown.
I love it when you feel so lonely and down.
When you feel like giving up, I love how you ask for help. I love how you pray with me.
I love it when you ask me on what to do. I love it when you base your decisions from the situations I presented to you. I love it when you feel like dying but knowing I’m still here so you regret and take back what you just said. I love it how impulsive you are. I love it how you get angry at the simplest of things. I love it how you point out errors more than the good things in your life. I love how pessimistic you are.
I love it when you feel like giving up.
The things I have said are all true. I love how delicate your soul is. But I am not saying this for you to hate yourself more. I just wanted you know that despite being frail, I will still love you.

The things I have said will not make me love you less than before. You are what you are and that is what I love about you the most. I love you my feeble lover.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on July 7, 2017 in random thoughts

 
 
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