Daily Archives: July 12, 2017

Haunted Night

     The night was dark and vast, the hills cried as the trees scratched free from the stall of day. This is the hour where shadows live and a candle light brings fear of the lurch, no one is safe from the things not seen in the day. Night wraps her cold blanket around the sky to show us what evil look  . Sleeping the sleep of the dead so many miss the dance of the stars and the hand of the moon reaching down . How pale it sits not touched by the terror it inflicts on the quickened heart of man. Is it beast that lives, ghost or devil, watching as we look  around blinded by our disbelief of things that weak and getting  in dark valley of the mind. Maybe blooded fang or gore coated claws is the whicker man of nightmares. Could be red sky and black raven that releases the hounds of hell to run free in the dark. Time holds the black rose and on that day we shall be handed the secret to it all. Until then night will torment and twist what we see and hear. Now let us step back in time. Before Edison’s light, when hell stalked log cabins resting quietly in the woods, and the night made equals of us all. 

     Among the trees deep in the heart of the living forest stood a cabin. It smelled of the earth and the logs bore images of it’s soul. A man alone to the world stared at an image of a seraph. Eye’s that would make the blue sky anger in comparison. A empty bottle of whiskey hold in hand 

     “My love …………My love ……..” Then the silence would return as tears welled, but pulled back inside to burn. The form crumbled to rest a heavy head in queue of the next onrush of desolation. 

     The low light gave the mind freedom to create, and control. The man lifted his head as a distant voice crept over the forest floor to nestle in his ear. 

     “Why?” Was all the breath could say, “Why?…………..” Then nothing. 

     He shook his head to clear the mist from his mind, then turned his attention back to the girl. He pulled out a bottle of wine that he saved for their wedding day, sobbing the while. His skin squirmed as the hair on his neck rose. 

     The night spoke again. “Why…..” Closer then the one before. 

     He waved his hand and mumbled, “Nothing out there you fool the wind can not speak. The drink and the grief are playing tricks on me. Is that, and that alone.” He turned to the bottle and washed his fear back into his bowels. A corner of the lodging was impenetrable by light even in the day it held it’s void. This night some light seemed to move and creep, and out of the corner of his eye….. a face, appeared catching his gaze then vanished before he could focus. He knew something lurked in the dark, he seen movement. “Who…..Who’s….There?……Speak to me I know you can hear me!” 

     Again the wind sailed in and pecked his inner ear. “Why?…….” 

     His face pale, his body stiff, he tried to stand but a weight so heavy forced him back on to his chair. 

     The pressure shifted to his chest as his breath shortened and his heart raced. Grabbing the wine he took a gulp and mumbled again only louder….. “You leave me alone…. I want nothing from you specter. I have no time for your haunting games.’ A feeling drifted over , a tingle starting at the toes and ending in the shoulder, a walking shadow moved behind him. He could feel ice tickle his spine as he hunted frantically for his tormentor. “Why plague me oh spirt? I have done nothing… I have hurt no one. Surely there must be a soul more deserving then I to apply your haunt?” 

     “Why?………” The voice was at his side and a hand brushed his face, still alone he sat In fear. 

     He jumped from his chair gripped the candle and made his way around the small room. “Show your self I grow weary of you . I demand you leave my home.” 

     He stopped when a book slammed to the floor with thunderous rage, and the ghastly voice spoke. 


     Panic had him now and the more he moved the faster the shape danced on the walls out of the corner of his eye. He looked back to his chair and saw a fading figure, the eye’s froze his body and soul in place. The image vanished, he closed his lids hoping it was just some drunk haze. He looked about in haste and as he turned to the left the chill of a thousand graves looked straight into his eye’s. He was so close he could smell rot and decay. 


     His long bangs moved as if a breeze had seeped in from beyond this world. He returned to his seat uncontrollable chills shook his body to a violent frenzy of fright. His spirt now slowly breaking wanting to give in to the ghost and let the spirt take him. Wind circled him as the flame of the candle spit a foot in the air. He dropped it to the ground the fire died. The room was as black as the coldest heart, and something seemed to move around him , he felt morbid pricks of pain all over his body, as the shadow moved taunting his horror. The world out side was still, he could see the moon touching the floor just passed the window. In the light of the eve he saw her……The girl from the picture, his beloved . 

     He looked with lifted soul as he began to stand. Desperately he scrambled to his feet wanting to greet is distant love. He looked at her with soft eye’s, a glint of sliver from the right. Her face changed black eye’s and bound mouth screamed shaking the foundations of the earth. The glint of sliver came into the light of the moon. A blade came down with contorted brutality, before it made it’s mark he heard his voice push out his last word……… 


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Posted by on July 12, 2017 in random thoughts


 On paper you and I are still together

I have spend life times running after you … we pretend that the tears we shed from arguing are better than the weeps we release from the loneliness that envelope us ….
You promised you wouldn’t leave me more times than I can count but evey time I look at you all I see are the claw marks that I intendent on your skin from when I begged you just fucking stay
You don’t bother to see my self destruct because you would rather watch my old best friend snort+crushed poweder through dollar bills ,so we both act like the pills I take are just candy that will spoil my dinner
May be yours words were not strong enough to burry me six feet under but still wondef if u saying that you never loved me has something to do with the half night I feel more like ghosts than I ever do as human being
I wore your words like hickeys over my neck but they turned into necklace and ever night it tightened around my throat and I never realized how your words were fibers that turned into rope
And still have the words you once told me hidden in a desk drawer and in shaky black ink ,our names are both sprawled across the bottom of the page
At least on paper you and I are still together …….


Posted by on July 12, 2017 in random thoughts


The End

I wake up on the bed of the tiny motel by 5:30 am. Last night feels like a dream, like it didn’t really happen. But it did and it felt liberating. To finally be able to talk to someone about what’s going on in my mind and for him to actually listen. Talking for hours about anything and everything. But now we gotta get back to reality. “Hey wake up, we gotta get to school” I say trying to wake him up. He mumbles under his breath “Just 5 more minutes.” I pack my stuff and get ready to go. I open up the curtains and see that it has finally stopped raining and the sun has come out. The tiny city is blanketed by this incredible hush. There are only a few people outside, some exercising, some going to the station to catch the first train. I got so used to being on campus which is roaming with students and the busy streets that are filled with car horns and people’s conversations that being here makes me feel like time has stopped. Looking at the city makes me feel at ease, a feeling I’ve been craving for a long time.
He gets up and gets ready. We walk to the station together without saying that much to each other. At times we glance at each other and when the other one notices, we smile embarrassingly to each other and continue walking. As childish and silly as that sounds moments like these I get butterflies. Being with him makes me feel calm and excited at the same time. How can that be? I feel calm around him because he makes me feel safe. I know that someone cares about me when I’m with him so maybe I’m not that nervous or scared like other times. I know we shouldn’t depend on other people for our happiness because that can be taken away easily, but is it that bad if one person reminds you how great life can be? We get to the station and wait on the train platform. “Do you wanna talk till we get to school or do you want to just keep being quiet?” he asks. “Keep being quiet definitely.” I say. “So if you could have any super power which one would you choose?” he asks. “What happened to being quiet?” “Oh well. I would say invisibility just so I could mess with the teachers who failed me. Like steal their pens one by one, or take out one dollar from their wallets everyday. They’ll be so confused but who are they gonna report this to? ‘I think someone is stealing one dollar from me everyday’ haha oh my god and they’ll be so confused.” I say laughing. “What the hell, you’re so heartless! I thought it would be like flight or teleportation to go back home or something, but noo torturing the poor teachers!” he says trying to make a mortified face but just looking like he’s holding back laughter. Our train comes and we sit at the far end. “That is a great idea actually. But you know what? I think being away from home made me more appreciative of the time I get with my family. Distance makes the heart go fonder after all.” I say. “So what power would you choose?” I ask. “I don’t know if this qualifies as a super power or not but I want the power to help people. I know I can already do that but I want to umm send angels to the struggling people or something.” he says as if this is a completely normal answer. “Ughhh you’re so kind.” I say groaning. “No no it’s not to help people, well of course it is, but the main thing is from selfish motives. Whenever I see someone so clearly sad I want to go and talk to them and give them a hug or something but how do I do that? Like ‘Hey you look sad as fuck want a hug?’ I always end up not doing something when I’m in a situation to help someone because I’m just too nervous so I always feel so guilty afterwards. So this way I can send them angels or kind people so they feel better. Or when 2 people are sitting at opposite sides of the tree eating lunch alone I want to be able to snap my fingers and make them sit next to each other and fall in love.” he says. “Woah that escalated quickly. So essentially you want to be god?” I ask . “What? NO! My agnostic brain can’t process your analogy so I am self destructing in 3 2 1” he says in a robotic voice and pretends to shut off. “Well that is a great idea but that’s not gonna happen. So I propose an idea. From now on when someone is crying or clearly really sad let’s go up to them and just offer support! It is gonna be really weird but we gotta try right? ” I say. “If you’re trying to make my super power into a reality then let’s make yours real too. Starting from today let’s steal one teachers pen one by one everyday until they lose their minds.” he says. “And then we can make up that evil action by hugging sad people!” I say and we start laughing uncontrollably. After talking on and off and taking turns taking naps, because if we both take a nap we’re gonna miss our stop, we finally got to the station next to campus.

We have 5 minutes left to class so we start to run to class. We run as fast as we can alongside each other laughing as we pass by other students who are also almost late. I feel so free and excited that people passing by wouldn’t think that I’m going to my first period class. We go in the building and as we start getting closer to the class I can hear the girls laughing and the guys shouting about something new. Yesterday’s feeling of uneasiness starts to creep up inside me so I stop running and start to walk slowly towards the door. “Are you ready?” he asks. I take a deep breath and take in the noises coming out of the classroom. The fake laughter of the girls that I hated so much start to feel like genuine laughter from joy and happiness. And the shouts from the guys sound like real excitement and not just some obnoxious scream from immature guys. Maybe these people weren’t the problem but I was the one failing to see the bright side. The right side. “Yeah I’m ready.” I say and we walk into the classroom.

I know I’m not gonna be immediately “fixed” after this but I do know that I feel better right now. What is this “fixing” thing anyway? I thought for a long time that I was “broken” and “damaged” not from a particular incident but because I seemed to be different from everybody else, not in the I’m so special kind of way but why do I suck so much way. But isn’t that just part of life? Aren’t we all just a little bit broken? Some more than others but who are we to judge. We’re all in this weird wonderful mess together. The world can be cruel at times but it is wonderful. And I’m choosing to believe that the wonderful parts outweigh the cruel and horrible parts. Or at least I’m trying to. Children’s laughter, witnessing your parents’ happiness, looking up at the stars on a warm summer night, knowing that someone cares about you, getting into a book so much that you enter another universe, running in the rain and feeling invincible and millions of other amazing incredible things that make you feel like it’s all gonna be okay. If something so beautiful can exist in this universe, life might not be that bad after all.

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Posted by on July 12, 2017 in random thoughts

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