Daily Archives: July 24, 2017

From A Lover’s Diary-“Yes or may be No”

I felt my head and heart heavy. My hands shivered as I held the phone within my palms. It couldn’t hold that small pound of material steadily. I tried to level the speaker of my phone and my ear. Tears rolled down involuntarily from my eyes, wetting the eyelashes which stood firmly a few moments ago. I was trying to regain my sense back. My mind became so numb that it couldn’t accept any other voice in the universe. “I dont want you. Lets end this” she said
as I despairingly searched for the survival ammunition. The call ended. The phone dropped from my hands and fell onto the bed. So did I.

I scratched my head figuring out the turn of events that betided in the last 300 seconds. I felt that a bomb has exploded and tore me apart, so that I could never revive. “Did she really mean that?” I interrogated myself with thousands of questions. This happens usually. But her tone that day was very unusual. Sort of that specific distancing pitch. I poured out again.

My cheeks were swollen and I looked dull. I tried to remain strong because I had to. It was my first concert and there was a lot of expectations. I feared that her thoughts of haunting me while I perform; and breaking down in front of the crowd would bring down my career. I washed my face, dressed myself up and went to the arena. The stage was set. Guests were coming in. I looked out onto the special

V.I.P seat which I had reserved for her. There was no sight of her. “She won’t come!” I reckoned.

I took a deep breath and entered the stage.

The guitarist started playing the chords and suddenly I saw a familiar face somewhere out in the crowd. Did I see her? Was it my imagination since I was too obsessed with her? Or was it real? I scanned the crowd once again and my eyes caught up with that girl whom I lost my heart to. I saw her seated in one corner of the arena, looking at me, smiling. Nothing could have my day and my first performance better. I started yodelling, constantly varying my pitch and confidently utilising my energy. It was a romantic song and I had never sung it that good. I looked at her, and opened my heart out throught that song. She was looking at me, shaking her head, and a smile playing at the corner of her lips. She bent her face down and and wiped something off her face. Was she crying? Had I really created that much of an impression? Well, the only thing I was sure of, was that she realised how sorry I was for my mistake.

I ended my last bit of the song. The whole crowd stood up and applauded me. I saw her clapping and walking towards the back stage. I didn’t wanna even wait to thank the crowd. I didn’t even wanna wait for the photo session. I didn’t even wanna wait to thank the important people who came to see me perform. I just bowed to the crowd and ran to the back stage.

The whole environment of the back stage was so beautiful. The moon light lit the whole area and made it even more romantic. My eyes automatically started searching for her like a lost child searching for his mother. “There she is” I said to myself, as my vision caught up with the most beauteous girl in my life. The anomalous light of the full moon made her look even more bewitching. I nipped myself to confirm whether it was real or just a dream. I was unable to differentiate between these two, a sort of unfathomed happiness.

She was browsing something on her phone and didn’t give any heed to my presence. I called out to her. No reply. I sat near her and held her hands; but she pushed it away. I held it even more firm enough that she couldn’t escape a second time. She looked right into my eyes and asked


“I love you baby” I said.

“Well I dont.” she replied.

“Oh yes you do” I said. “Or else you wouldn’t have come today to see me perform” I was grinning like a dog who got its favourite bone.

She turned her face away. She was smiling actually and tried to hide that from me.

“You can smile. I have no issues.”

“Oh yes I can. My wish” she replied, not ready to give up her girly pride.

I brought her hands to my chest, locked my eyes with her and said, “Baby, This thing inside me wouldn’t have been normal if you weren’t here today. I couldn’t even think about seperating from you. If you will give me one more chance, I will have the privilege of asking you the same, everytime we fight, so that I will love you more and that it’ll be immortal. Will you forgive your hubby for this one last time?

She remained silent and put her head down.

“Baby please” I started again, but was interrupted by her finger which rested on my lips. She held my face and tilted hers. The gap between us reduced to zero. My body quivered as her lips met mine. She kissed me like never before. The warmth of her lips made me realise that I’ll be happy and secure with her. That was her reply.


Posted by on July 24, 2017 in lover's diary

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