Feeling incapable in your own capabilities.

13 Aug

We’re all stigmatized by the thought of not being enough, by fear of always remaining one step away from where we’re told we should be, because ironically we spent our lives being told that we should thrive to be better, be smarter, be prettier, be funnier, be fucking more. 

So now we make ourselves into something we’re not; to impress people, to not hear that our potential is unfulfilled or that we’re not good enough, but doesn’t pretending make us lose the us that we once as children loved to be? Is the struggle of survival worth it if we will never feel enough? 
We’re in a constant never ending cycle of self hate, anger, ache, shame and never fully feeling good enough. 
 Sadness is not being able to be the captain of your own ship, but tricking yourself into thinking you are, it’s thinking you can fix yourself by pure thought but not doing it due to a crippling fear of disappointment, and not being able to love or trust enough. It’s being sorry for not fitting other people’s standards while a bitter side of you tries to convince you that other people’s opinions don’t matter, it’s feeling that your mind is empty yet full at the same time, it’s not knowing what to say but knowing what you want to hear at the same time.
 It’s feeling incapable in your own capabilities.


Posted by on August 13, 2017 in random thoughts


2 responses to “ Feeling incapable in your own capabilities.

  1. mia_haider

    August 14, 2017 at 1:54 PM


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cherylene

    August 15, 2017 at 4:43 AM

    Wow!!! “Feeling incapable in your own capabilities.” Powerful stuff, Ajay. Thanks for sharing. I’ve nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award. Please feel free to check it out.

    Liked by 1 person


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