I may have fallen fast

22 Oct

I may have fallen fast, but it doesn’t mean my love isn’t going to last. You know, when I told you “I love you”, I didn’t say it just so I’d know how you felt for me, but because it was how I felt for you, and it still is.

It’s been almost a year I guess since the first and the last time we talked . And it’s been almost a week now since I told you that I would stop talking about us already, but … you’re still the one I’d like to talk to when something bad or good happens to me, you’re still the one I’d love to share most of my talks with. Nothing has really changed, except that we don’t talk everyday anymore like we used to do since we met. I still miss you every single day. I still wish Japan was just here in the Philippines, so I could just go to you during my days off from work. I still dream of you, of us being together, genuinely loving each other. It’s still you whom I want to end up with.

I’ve become clingy. I’ve acted like we’re an item. I’ve become insecure because your ex-bf, whose pictures are still on your facebook, looks more beautiful than me, she’s almost your age, he’s taller than me and he’s had you. I got so obsessed with you until I looked desperate to you. You got turned off. I’ve pushed you away. I’ve narrowed your options, while I got back to zero.

You told me we should take it easy and slow, but I’ve already fallen for you. Was it wrong that I told you so? Was it wrong that I’ve fallen for you before you do? Should I have waited till you have fallen for me, too? Is it really wrong for a boy to tell the girl first, or to do what he is supposed to do? Is it, because it’s unusual? How does it make the boy look desperate or degrade herself? Tell me how all of this matters. My mind is occupied with all these questions I’m not sure I’ll even get the answers for. My heart still hopes, because again, you’re still the one I want to end up with. But I really wouldn’t like to pressure you. Just tell me the things I need to know, the answers, they’re all I need.


Posted by on October 22, 2019 in random thoughts


2 responses to “I may have fallen fast

  1. myexpressionofthoughtsblog

    October 22, 2019 at 1:26 PM

    Sometimes finding answers makes life more complicated. At times it’s good to move ahead without knowing what happened and with time automatically you get to know them.

    Liked by 1 person


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