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Category Archives: love

dese are the poems that i m writing 4 ma love

काश बदनाम हो जायें

Its better to find a person who change your life significantly intstead of finding a preson who will change your relationship status

मेरी भी एक दुआ कुबूल हो जाये
फिर राह में उनसे मुलाकात हो जाये।

सूरज बैठा है निगरानी में उनके
उनके गली में पहुँचूँ तो रात हो जाये।

जो ख़त उनको लिखा था जज़्बातों से
पहुंचे उन तक तो शायद शुरुआत हो जाये।

छत पर आए वो जुल्फें लहराते
नज़रें मिले उनसे तो इशारों में बात हो जाये।

बड़े शरीफ हैं हम अपने मोहल्ले में
तमन्ना है कि गली में उनके बदनाम हो जायें।

 
2 Comments

Posted by on February 5, 2021 in love, poetry

 

Words to her

I’ve been shoving this away for a long time now. The only way I make things real in my head is when I write about whatever has happened, and I refused to let go of you because how could I accept that you have left me? You never did. When I kicked you, when I pulled your tail, when I whacked your snout in an effort to make you leave the room or at least move away from me, you never did. And now, when you’re gone, I’m the one pulling your memory closer to me, because you were, and you are a part of me.

One of the most important people in my life told me something that hit only now. You’re not here now and you won’t be here again. But the memories I have of you, with you, are mine. They are bequeaths you left me, and no one can possibly take them away from me. That was the beauty of your existence too. By acknowledging me as your mistress and by giving me all your loyalty, love, affection and care, you had made yourself irreplaceable. You had made yourself one of the few points of gravity that kept me grounded.

You had such human eyes. I wouldn’t call them smart because you were, well, daft. But human eyes. Kind eyes. A lot of people questioned why, exactly, I acted like I did when I lost you; ‘Just a dog’, ‘you can buy another puppy’, and my personal favourite, ‘you can only feel for non-humans, can’t you?’. But what these people don’t realize is that you weren’t just a dog to me. You came to me during a phase in my life where I didn’t know if I was still human. I was a monster with an abject lack of empathy. You taught me so much.

You taught me to let go of grudges. To enjoy little things. To appreciate routine. To love unconditionally. To show love artlessly. To give all of myself. To demand love that I deserve. To want someone’s smile enough to make a fool of myself to extract it. To accept new people, but be wary enough to protect myself. You taught me how to be a better person and you taught me how to love. Funnily, most of the humanity I exhibit, I learned from a dog. I’m thankful for that, because people would have taught me with words. You, however, taught me by example and that’s why the lessons have stuck with me.

I’m going to have dogs after you. I had dogs before you. Some day, you’ll be a part of the data I’ll transfer from machine to machine, struggling to keep my youth alive through digital reminiscence. But there will be things I won’t forget. I won’t forget the month of research it took to narrow down on you, the first visit to the pet store as we searched for a beagle, the first time we met you, at 9pm, when you, a tiny, overfed, waddling puppy decided to choose us. The look on mom’s face when you went ahead brazenly, as though driven by an inherent instinct, and curled up into a ball on her feet. The first time you entered your new home, in a blue polythene bag, a tiny head poking out, almost too adorable to be real.

The most telling sign of you being my dog was the dog trainer’s reaction to you. He was a professional, and he gave up on you in a week, and all he said was ‘let him be, he’ll learn what he needs to, himself.’ There was a certain camaraderie you and I shared as the troublemakers of the house. And that’s what I’ll miss. In a house full of people with focus, determination and an innate sense of right and wrong, we were always mildly left of center. Our moral compasses, although aligned with each other, were slightly skewed from everyone else’s. Maybe the fact that you were too human for your own good, and I was, and am, not human enough, developed into a solidarity that I wouldn’t have given up for the world.

There were days you were my only friend, and you truly were good company. Not many friends stay when you push them away, but you did. You always did. You stayed with me when I actively tried to shoo you away. That was possibly the most important lesson you taught me; that I’m worthy and capable of loving and being loved. I’m still learning, and there are people I wish I could have introduced you to, because they’re showing me the truth behind your lessons. I think you would’ve liked them.

I have so many regrets, in retrospect. That one night when I could’ve taken you for a walk but I was too tired to, and let the maid take you. The days when I was cranky and didn’t play with you even though that was, sometimes, the only thing that could make things okay. The days when I was at the vet’s with you and instead of comforting you, I was too absorbed in a novel. The times I didn’t love you as much as you deserved to be loved, and the times when I didn’t do your simple love justice. I know it’s too late for platitudes, but I truly did think I could have loved you tomorrow. And now, suddenly, tomorrow doesn’t exist.

I need you to promise me a few things. I need to know you’ll be okay. I know you’re loving all this attention, wherever you are. You need to promise to be good. Don’t bite people with red umbrellas. Don’t fall into ponds. Don’t cry when I come home late. Don’t beg for chicken when someone’s cooking. Don’t make a fool of yourself for papaya. Don’t jump onto sofas and challenge Mom to retaliate. Don’t poke your nose into the kitchen and whine for raw vegetables. Don’t drag your leash into mud. Don’t run away when someone tries to bathe you. Don’t do that retarded beagle water dance.

I loved you, you little goof. I still love you. You took with you a small part of me. In return, you gave me limitless amounts of love and a pool of memories I can dip into in times of dire need because your unpretentious, uncomplicated love translated into fortitude and support. It translated into an aim; An aim to love as well as you have loved me

 
6 Comments

Posted by on November 18, 2017 in love, random thoughts

 

Dear Love

I’ve been shoving this away for a long time now. The only way I make things real in my head is when I write about whatever has happened, and I refused to let go of you because how could I accept that you have left me? You never did. When I kicked you, when I pulled your tail, when I whacked your snout in an effort to make you leave the room or at least move away from me, you never did. And now, when you’re gone, I’m the one pulling your memory closer to me, because you were, and you are a part of me.

One of the most important people in my life told me something that hit only now. You’re not here now and you won’t be here again. But the memories I have of you, with you, are mine. They are bequeaths you left me, and no one can possibly take them away from me. That was the beauty of your existence too. By acknowledging me as your mistress and by giving me all your loyalty, love, affection and care, you had made yourself irreplaceable. You had made yourself one of the few points of gravity that kept me grounded.

You had such human eyes. I wouldn’t call them smart because you were, well, daft. But human eyes. Kind eyes. A lot of people questioned why, exactly, I acted like I did when I lost you; ‘Just a dog’, ‘you can buy another puppy’, and my personal favourite, ‘you can only feel for non-humans, can’t you?’. But what these people don’t realize is that you weren’t just a dog to me. You came to me during a phase in my life where I didn’t know if I was still human. I was a monster with an abject lack of empathy. You taught me so much.

You taught me to let go of grudges. To enjoy little things. To appreciate routine. To love unconditionally. To show love artlessly. To give all of myself. To demand love that I deserve. To want someone’s smile enough to make a fool of myself to extract it. To accept new people, but be wary enough to protect myself. You taught me how to be a better person and you taught me how to love. Funnily, most of the humanity I exhibit, I learned from a dog. I’m thankful for that, because people would have taught me with words. You, however, taught me by example and that’s why the lessons have stuck with me.

I’m going to have dogs after you. I had dogs before you. Some day, you’ll be a part of the data I’ll transfer from machine to machine, struggling to keep my youth alive through digital reminiscence. But there will be things I won’t forget. I won’t forget the month of research it took to narrow down on you, the first visit to the pet store as we searched for a beagle, the first time we met you, at 9pm, when you, a tiny, overfed, waddling puppy decided to choose us. The look on mom’s face when you went ahead brazenly, as though driven by an inherent instinct, and curled up into a ball on her feet. The first time you entered your new home, in a blue polythene bag, a tiny head poking out, almost too adorable to be real.

The most telling sign of you being my dog was the dog trainer’s reaction to you. He was a professional, and he gave up on you in a week, and all he said was ‘let him be, he’ll learn what he needs to, himself.’ There was a certain camaraderie you and I shared as the troublemakers of the house. And that’s what I’ll miss. In a house full of people with focus, determination and an innate sense of right and wrong, we were always mildly left of center. Our moral compasses, although aligned with each other, were slightly skewed from everyone else’s. Maybe the fact that you were too human for your own good, and I was, and am, not human enough, developed into a solidarity that I wouldn’t have given up for the world.

There were days you were my only friend, and you truly were good company. Not many friends stay when you push them away, but you did. You always did. You stayed with me when I actively tried to shoo you away. That was possibly the most important lesson you taught me; that I’m worthy and capable of loving and being loved. I’m still learning, and there are people I wish I could have introduced you to, because they’re showing me the truth behind your lessons. I think you would’ve liked them.

I have so many regrets, in retrospect. That one night when I could’ve taken you for a walk but I was too tired to, and let the maid take you. The days when I was cranky and didn’t play with you even though that was, sometimes, the only thing that could make things okay. The days when I was at the vet’s with you and instead of comforting you, I was too absorbed in a novel. The times I didn’t love you as much as you deserved to be loved, and the times when I didn’t do your simple love justice. I know it’s too late for platitudes, but I truly did think I could have loved you tomorrow. And now, suddenly, tomorrow doesn’t exist.

I need you to promise me a few things. I need to know you’ll be okay. I know you’re loving all this attention, wherever you are. You need to promise to be good. Don’t bite people with red umbrellas. Don’t fall into ponds. Don’t cry when I come home late. Don’t beg for chicken when someone’s cooking. Don’t make a fool of yourself for papaya. Don’t jump onto sofas and challenge Mom to retaliate. Don’t poke your nose into the kitchen and whine for raw vegetables. Don’t drag your leash into mud. Don’t run away when someone tries to bathe you. Don’t do that retarded beagle water dance.

I loved you, you little goof. I still love you. You took with you a small part of me. In return, you gave me limitless amounts of love and a pool of memories I can dip into in times of dire need because your unpretentious, uncomplicated love translated into fortitude and support. It translated into an aim; An aim to love as well as you have loved me.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on July 9, 2017 in love, random thoughts

 

​Dear Almost Partner

Dear Almost Partner,

How are you?

I hope you are doing very well. You still look cute in your pictures by the way. And that one with you biting your lower lip? It still kind of makes me want to see you right away and kiss you again.

 

And as they say, almost will never be enough.

How long has it been? 4 year ? I’ve not  also dated any girl  but you being the first after my last relationship, kind of set standards for everyone else who followed. In the nature department, you’re still at the top .

What if I had you? What if we became official and we were in relationship ? Don’t you think about it sometimes? Because I do. Nah, it’s not that I haven’t moved on. When you’re single and bored, you tend to think of these things just to pass time.

I would have been at your place yesterday and you could have cooked for me  I must say your cooking was really good. I don’t know. Even the reheated pizza we had for breakfast was great. Maybe because I ate it with you.

We would have then gone to the mall to watch Jungle Book. I’m not sure if you would have liked it. I wasn’t really given the chance to know more of you. You were quiet and reserved when we were still talking and I just had to fill in the blanks in between.

That’s what’s bad about me having to make up for your silence. I made my own little stories inside my head which made me think you liked me too. Liked in the sense of us being partners.

I would make up excuses for your being not expressive and will tell myself of possible reasons why you weren’t exerting as much effort as I did.

Anyway, we could have then had dinner somewhere not too fancy and had ice cream after. Remember that one time when we ran in the rain just to get ice cream from a store near your place? Definitely one for the books.

We would then head back to your place and make love. I would have heard again the strange noise you make when you try to be sexy; I’m sure you weren’t conscious that you were doing that, but I liked it. I would have seen that look in your eyes again, your hairy thighs and felt your kisses that only I gave meaning to.

If you think about it, you would have not been my almost boyfriend. You could be my boyfriend now. And all the things I mentioned above would have not been wasted chances and possibilities but rather sweet memories.

This could have been a love letter and not a blog post.
There could have been an us. And I could have ended this with love.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on July 9, 2017 in love, random thoughts

 

The Night To Be Remember

I recall the moonlight making you glow, peeking through the sky lights and illuminating your skin.. I recall the way you stared up into my eyes, gleaming like stars in the sky, talking to my soul just begging me to sin.. There was never a time I could say no to you, when your body talked I was forced to listen and submit to your desires.. It was if my only purpose for living and breathing was to please you.. Throwing your legs around my shoulders letting you lock your ankles around my neck as I bent your knees back to touch your chest.. I feel you reach down to guide me inside you, slowly at first, just the tip and you could feel me pulsing for you.. I slowly started to grind my hips back and forth ever so slightly, popping the head of my cock in and out of your dripping pussy and making you moan for me.. As I reach down and wrap my hand around your throat, I keep my eyes locked on yours and look down upon you as you bite your lip in anticipation of what’s about to come.. Before you can exhale I thrust inside you all at once with one deep long stroke, your hands shoot up and grab my arm gripping on your neck.. Your legs tense up and squeeze around me tightly, my other hand wrapped around your thigh and gripping onto you as you dig your nails into me.. Stroking you out and watching as you try and keep your eyes on me and fight them from rolling back into your head.. Your moans start to become screams and my name starts to escape from your lips

“Ooooo FUCK!! !! honey please don’t stop, just don’t stop.. fuckkkk…” Never looking away from my eyes as you beg me for more and I gladly oblige you.. Tightening my grip on your thigh and forcing myself deeper inside you, watching your mouth hang open a little bit and your body start to twitch as I touch you in places I never have before.. My hand still wrapped around your neck and your hands still wrapped around my forearm, squeezing and scratching me trying to endure a feeling of pleasure you’ve never known before.. I can feel your legs start to flex and grow tense, you let go of me with one hand and start to play with your clit while I pound your pussy.. I’ve mastered the rhythm of my stroke and have begun to steadily hit your g spot and you can feel yourself becoming ever so close to exploding.. All the muscles in your body growing more tense by the second not quite sure when you will let go.. But I am.. Your body has become mine and I know it very well, all your little twitches and tingles tell me everything I need to know and just when I’m ready for you to bust I let go of your throat, take your hands and pin them back above your head and lean into to kiss your lips.. As I do I thrust into you one final time until my hips are pressed all the way up against yours, and your knees are bent all the way back.. Time freezes, you take a deep breath and feel my lips on yours, your eyes closed, yet you can still somehow see everything.. And you begin to feel the sensation between your legs, faintly at first almost as if it’s not real.. And then it happens.. Your moment of release, and you let go.. Exploding out for me, cumming so hard it forces my dick to pop out of you and your juices soak my body, the sheets and everything else within reach.. You scream out, pressing your forehead up against mine and I can feel your entire body flexing, your arms trying to break free as you continue to scream out in pure ecstasy.. Toes curling, body almost beginning to cramp up, and with a few more trembles and shakes you finish pouring out cum and I feel you instantly collapse under neath me.. Dripping in sweat, covered in your very own essence, breathless and heart racing.. With a kiss on your forehead I left you to get a little sleep as I took my retreat to the bathroom to start my morning and get ready for work, I could already tell this was going to be a hell of a week

 

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2017 in love, lust

 

Love Affair

I would like to get away, to a desert island, where you can only hear the song of the sea and that of your heart. Where only feel the wind of your voice… The wind of your voice saying my name while making love as deep and intense in our lives becoming one, over and over again until everything disappears and time freezes.
Honey i need you to be my bed for me to lie about you, I want to feel your bare skin attached to mine, make the time go faster to observe the end of things, but at the same time its slow I wish to observe that they are reality.
I want to be your bed and your blanket, lull you with my body, be fresh skin covering and absorb your fatigue, your warmth and ensure you happiness… I want to be your medicine, your healing and your remedy I want to be up to your illness, I want to be an eternal virus, hope to be good and to me keep close to your heart.  I love you… I guess with the love that produces my body for you… my immune system you will get sweetly, I hope to be the boy who fill that tender heart… the boy that makes you laugh always, always, love the boy that makes you feel full. 

I would like to kill you with something more than words… to then revive you in my arms.  I love you too and at the same time as little… Ironically I can only feel it and not prove it… I love you so little when you are alone, when you do not embrace… and I love you so much when we are a little closer now

 
2 Comments

Posted by on June 30, 2017 in love, random thoughts

 

​What we should look for in our lover

It sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? Finding a lover. A person to kiss. A person to go on dates with. A person whose hand you squeeze during scary movies. A person to open your life to, give your heart to, who you can see yourself with, years and years down the road.

But finding that person is scary.
There’s so many rules and restrictions in today’s dating world. A ‘lover’ is supposed to be attractive and sexy and enticing and reliable and romantic and everything we’ve ever dreamed of, right? He/she’s supposed to be this perfect person. But perfection in love? That’s not real. And finding a flawless, completes-me type of person? Impossible. (Thank goodness, because none of us would make the cut.)
That’s why I don’t want something perfect. And why I don’t want a lover. I want a best friend.
I want someone I can be completely myself around. I want to wake up in the morning, hair all sleepy and messy around my face, makeup off, baggy t-shirt on, and not feel like I have to be anything I’m not.
I want someone to laugh with. To stay up late with and talk about dreams. To go on adventures with, big or small. To sip wine and make breakfast together, and feel like we know every little thing about each other’s lives.
I want someone I can talk to openly, fearlessly, about my biggest regrets and future plans. Someone who I can trust. Someone who will be there for me, no matter what, and I’ll return the favor. Someone I can chow down on family size Chex Mix with, someone I can just sit on the couch with and not say anything, but simply enjoy each other’s company.
See, I think the world has it all wrong. Love isn’t about finding the perfect person, about finding a lover. I think love is all about finding your best friend. Someone who you’re compatible with on so many levels, not just romantically.
I want a best friend. Someone I can tease, go out drinking with, or stay in and binge-watch Prison Break with. Someone who will give me a genuine compliment when I look my best, but will honestly tell me when I look like sh*t and need to get my butt off the couch.
I want someone who knows all my inner secrets, drama, and proudest moments. Who will go places with me, or take me to dinner and actually talk about things that matter. Who won’t always have to be in charge, have to pay, have to be the one to plan things. But will still do those things sometimes, just because.
I want someone who will make me laugh, drive me nuts, piss me off, but still be my best friend.
And I want to fall head over heels for this best friend.
See, I think the world has it all wrong. Love isn’t about finding the perfect person, about finding a lover. I think love is all about finding your best friend. Someone who you’re compatible with on so many levels, not just romantically. (Because that mushy-gushy, intimate stuff will come naturally. Don’t worry.)
I want a best friend—someone I love, yes, but more importantly, someone I can truly know. And someone who knows me, inside and out, flaws and quirks and all my weirdness, yet still chooses to be mine.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on June 27, 2017 in love

 

I Want To Waste My Days With You

I want to waste my days with you, talking about life, telling each other stories about our past and our wishes for the future. I want to waste my mornings with you, catching you up on years and years of untold stories, family secrets, friend’s drama and a long list of heartbreaks. I want to waste my words on you.
I want to waste my afternoons with you, driving ourselves to unfamiliar places; exploring the city as we listen to your favorite songs and as you listen to my favorite lyrics and replay our favorite songs over and over again. I want us to go to museums, galleries, festivals, concerts and anything we come cross. I want to waste my money on you.
I want to waste my evenings with you, walking by the lake, watching the sunset, remembering the times when we didn’t think the sun will ever shine, when we were blinded by our own darkness and how we came to find the light. I want to shine my light on you.
I want time to fly with you, I want time to pass me by with you, or maybe I want time to stop with you.
I want to waste my nights with you. I want to dance with you under the moonlight and I want to take you to all my favorite restaurants and bars and show you my favorite spots. Where I go when I need to think, where I go when I need to be alone, and where I go when I want to hide from the world. I want to waste my secrets on you.
I want to waste my heart with you. I want to spoil you and buy you gifts you don’t need. I want to help you love the parts of you that you gravely hate. I want to heal the scars that life left on you and I want to keep giving you all I’ve got – profuselyand lavishly. I want to waste my love on you.
I want to waste my sleep with you. I want to stay up looking at you when I can barely open my eyes. I want to stay up listening to you when I can’t utter a word. I want you to be the reason why I couldn’t wake up in the morning and I want you to be the reason for my incurable insomnia. I want to waste my sleepless nights on you. 
I want to waste the best years of my life with you. Traveling, exploring the world, exploring adulthood, exploring life and watching ourselves grow through life. I want to spend my years in your arms that feel like home. I want to waste the best years of my life making memories with you.
I want to waste my time with you. I want every moment to be filled with something of you. I want time to fly with you, I want time to pass me by with you, or maybe I want time to stop with you.
I guess what I am trying to say is I don’t want to waste a minute unless I am wasting it away with you.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on March 24, 2017 in love, random thoughts

 

3:00 AM

I stare at the skyline

Spread ahead, then disappearing

Lights blinking in and out

Writing stories in the sky

And telling tales I can’t hear

And I think of the ripples of water

In the inky sea, too dark for me

To see anything but wavering

Reflections in; distorted stories

And trembling tales I’ll never know

And all I can think of is the fact

That I’m thankful for the skyline

And the lights

And the stories

And all I don’t know

Because if it was only the sea

Stretching without a break

In front of me, I’d think of things

Like forevers and promises and

You. I’d think of things I can’t have

And I’d think of words that mean

Everything, and nothing

And I’d be a wreck because all I

Know is that infinities scare me.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on March 21, 2017 in love, poems

 

​If I was a poet

If I was a poet
I would craft such lines for you.
I would weigh every word carefully. Examine it. Measure it. Carefully determine its suitability. Its intention. Its light and shade. Its truth.
I would test it carefully in its relationship with other words. I would study their harmony, their balance, their humour, their wisdom, their meaning.
I would lay each sentence tenderly with the rest. Matching. Contrasting. Comparing. Trying them in my mind, beneath my fingers, in my mouth. On my tongue.
I would hold them up to you. Lay them over you. Place them side by side with you. Meticulously ensuring they capture your beauty, your elegance, your warmth, your intelligence, your grace.  Making sure they fit you perfectly. Striving to make them do you justice.
If I was a poet.
And if you belonged to me.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on March 5, 2017 in love, poems

 
 
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