There comes a point in life when you gotta start believing when someone tells you ‘i love you’. Just because that one person didn’t mean it, just because that one person lied about it does not mean every other person that’s gonna come into your life and say those three words to you is not gonna mean it and lie about it too. I’m not saying every person is true when they say so but you gotta take your chances to find out because other wise, you may never trust anyone again, you will never feel loved again. This is something a friend of mine recently just explained to me, she told me how stupid i was to be afraid that everyone who’s important to me at this time in life will leave me soon, since i’m that scared of losing people. I told her it made me cry thinking of how close i’ve gotten to some people and how much i hate it because again, i was scared but i cried anyways. I cried because one day they would leave instead of being happy for the time that they are here with me. Everyone is gonna leave one day or another, there is no forever but that does not mean the moments you have spent and the moments you are yet to spend with them is gonna be meaningless or any of that sort. Maybe they do love you, maybe they do intend to stay, maybe it scares them too to lose you but let’s face it, we know everything has an end, every feeling changes, every thought evolves and it’s no one’s fault. Every thing starts only to be ended and you have to set that in your mind. Accept the love you are getting right now, enjoy every laughter with all your heart, cherish every second with the ones you love, believe in people as much they deserve to be believed, trust yourself and your judgement and even if it’s wrong, it’s okay! Nothing is wrong forever, because as far as i know even a broken clock is right two times a day. So don’t shut people out, don’t send them away just because you arent strong enough to accept their love, don’t torture yourself thinking about future heart ache or loneliness or whatever because by the end of the day, we’ll be alone and that’s okay but it’s better to be alone knowing you once had a ton of great things in your life, knowing that you were once happy and loved rather than being alone with nothing but the thought that you had a chance but you were too scared to take it. Life is all about taking chances, because they may lead to somehing beautiful and/or even if it leads you broken but it’s worth it because when you only think you lost something, thing of all the things you gained; a lesson, a better perspective, a lot more strength to deal with things. To be honest, i wouldn’t have been saying all this if my friend didn’t make me realize all this and i’m so thankful now to see things the way she made me see them and it has helped me feel way way better because i, personally, have pushed people away just because i was always scared of anything that they could say could possibly be a lie, and cried everytime i realized i got attached to someone being afraid that they will walk away one day. In short, don’t think much, take chances and enjoy what comes the next step of your journey.
Category Archives: random thoughts
I know we just met. We only talked a few times and frankly I don’t even know that much about you. I don’t even know who you are. But from the first time we talked I felt something I hadn’t in a long time. I don’t know if it was because of you, or because of the events of that day but something about our talk felt special. Up until that point I’ve been feeling numb for a very long time. All the excitement, hope and happiness seemed to have drained out of me but of course that wasn’t the case. I just needed something or someone to remind me that yes life can be and is wonderful. And from that day I realized I was missing something. That feeling of hope was missing from my life. And I needed to get it back. Not get it back from someone, it’s not like someone stole it from me, but maybe get it from within me as cheesy and weird as that sounds. So is it weird that I miss you? Yes, maybe it’s not even you that I miss, it’s the feeling you gave me. The feeling you reminded me I could have. So even if we don’t have that kind of talks again it’s okay because I’m grateful for what you’ve reminded me. But I still miss you.
I look at you sleeping next to me, wondering how many elements the Universe had to create to finally hit upon the ultimate combination that made you.
I see your phosphorescent face, glowing from the radiation of the love that you contain within your heart and it urges me to radiate more love in return, just to see it glow brighter than before.
I know you are technically made of Carbon but one truly needs to know you to understand the varied range of things you are capable of. Just like Carbon, you are mentally as strong as a diamond but, at the same time, can also be as soft as graphite.
Your presence is like Helium in the sky. On one end, it’s so badass that it is solely responsible for making those magnificent explosions in the sun but on the other hand, it’s so harmless that it brings out funny sounds out of you, making everyone laugh.
You have ferromagnetic body that no matter where you go, makes me look into your direction. Just like magnets of the opposite ends, our bodies collapse into each other the moment we are let loose.
Glow of Gold in your hair, shine of Silver in your eyes. Kiss of your lips, like Iodine, heals all my wounds. Touch of your hand conducts more electricity in me than Copper and that electricity is what makes my heart beat.
I can go on and mention every complex lanthanides, actinidies, gases and metals but to sum it all up, what you are to me, as a whole, is Oxygen. I cannot live without you.
Listen man.. This shit here was all we were ever told as boys growing up.. How I feel about it now? It’s been a couple who have come and gone who I truly thought were gonna be that “one” and they made me fall in love.. And that was the problem.. I kept thinking I had to let some girl make me fall in love with her, and I ended up just forcing myself to fall in love with the first pretty face that showed me attention.. I grew up insecure , I’m still a little insecure sometimes about certain things.. It’s called being human, we all are so if you have a problem with that.. You can’t hold that against anyone because we all do it.. The part that doesn’t help is when peoples actions spark our insecurities for good reason and then they try and make it seem like it was the insecurities that caused them to do what they did.. But I digress.. My original point is that I forced love with just anyone because I felt like I had to.. I never quite understood that what the old heads meant by “she’s gonna change your life and make you fall in love” was that the shit would just happen in an instant.. In the blink of an eye because this women will be so breath taking that she steals your heart from the minute you lay eyes on her.. It won’t be a sexual attraction, it won’t be lustful or shallow, it will be the deepest, most penetrating feeling you’ve ever experienced and there will just be no mistaking as to what’s really happening between the two of you.. That’s what I’m still holding out for, despite all my failures in attempting to find a woman and fall in love, I know that I’m going to get it right I just have to keep working on understanding what love really is, what it really means.. I have to truly understand that loving myself makes love with another person almost effortless, I’ll never have to force it or stress it.. Never have to worry where they go when they leave the house or who they talk to on the phone in another room.. I want trust beyond doubts, love beyond faults, and more than just some fucking potential to be everything.. I wanna just be everything to someone, that’s all any of us want I think..
It seems to me that we spend most of our lives searching for beauty. We pursue happiness. We’re looking for that one person to cure us of the need for anyone else. To cure us of loneliness, self-doubt, or negative thoughts. We act as if we’re broken and someone or something is going to cure that.
But isn’t it true that we’re the ones who make life beautiful or not? Isn’t it true that only our thoughts can distinguish between happiness and suffering? That it’s all about us, about what we think and what we feel and what we see.
Are you trying to create a beautiful life for yourself? Are you doing your best to create the future that you’ve been dreaming about for so long?
Dreams don’t just come true. You’ve got to make them come true.
It’s as simple as that. It’s as simple as deciding that what you have is enough. It’s as simple as looking yourself in the mirror and accepting what you see. With all the good and the bad.
It’s all about the way your demons dance with your angels. It’s all about the way you manage life, the way you manage adversity and opportunity alike.
Make the best out of everything. Enjoy the small things. And fight.
Fight to create the life that you deem yourself worthy of having, because no one else is going to fight for it.
Dreams come true. Even though sometimes it seems that nothing happens. Even though at times it seems that you’re not really advancing. But you are. Day after day, as long as you fight, you’re getting better. It’s all just a matter of perception, really.
Sometimes progress is all about holding on. Sometimes all you can do is hold on tight to your dreams.
But you alone know what those dreams are and what they mean to you. You alone can make them come true, and you alone can decide how much are you willing to fight for them.
It’s all about you, I’m afraid. About your determination, about your ambition, about your courage. About your curiosity in face of the unknown, about you being able to face insurmountable odds.
It’s all you.
And the beautiful life that you have imagined into existence
Don’t you ever think back on it all, wonder where things went wrong.. At one point everything was perfect, it was all so beautiful.. I loved you, you seemed to love me.. It felt good, so fucking good to have that security of knowing that if the world was falling apart I still had you.. That was everything to me you know, out of all things I could have in this life, I had everything in you.. I just miss that I guess, I can’t help but constantly try and figure out what happened or where we went wrong.. I blame myself so much thinking I could have done things differently or better to keep from losing you.. No matter who’s fault it actually was I will always blame myself for some strange reason, I’ve always been that way when things go wrong, I come down so hard on myself.. That made it really hard for me to move on, even harder than it already was just knowing that I lost what seemed to be the perfect one for me.. I’m not sure how some folks just get up and move on so easily, maybe it’s just me but that pain was unbearable for a little while, the constant aching in my chest and feeling as though it was harder to breathe without you.. I will never forget that feeling.. But eventually things got better, it hurt a little less and I figured out how to put you in my past and keep you there.. Yet still I have these days, when I miss you, think I still love you and reminisce on all the moments we had when I was still convinced everything was perfectly fine.. I will probably never get to a point when I never think of you again, and that’s ok with me because when I loved you, I really loved you, and I would never expect myself to just forget that or cast those feelings away as if they never existed.. Maybe you can, but I could never.. So you will keep that place you had in my heart forever, there’s no need for you to be replaced because my heart is big enough to love again and find some space for someone else..
Two little teardrops were floating down the river of life. One drop said to the other, “I am the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him.” Who are you? “Well, I am the teardrop of the girl who won him.” Love is very strange. Love is unconditional commitment to an imperfect individual. You need it but when you love, it’s like destining yourself for pain. You become addicted and dependent on the person. You become strong and at the same time, you open yourself up to being hurt. Love can make you bear any kind of pain and any kind of sacrifice. It can also make you feel stupid and act stupidly. Sometimes when you love and end up giving so much of yourself, subconsciously you only discover how much you’ve given when the person you love hurts you or has to say goodbye.
Then you realize, an important part of yourself is already with that person. It goes away when he leaves and you are left with a sickening, empty feeling inside.
Tears are bound to shed from your eyes no matter how you force yourself to keep them in. Most teardrops ever shed on this earth have been for love or lack of it. When tears dry, a silent loss sticks to your heart for a long, long time.
Well, that’s what you get for caring so much about someone. But how can you regret it? To give yourself freely and lovingly is the most beautiful thing you can do. Loving makes you real. Loving also makes you cry. And that is why a teardrop is also BEAUTIFUL….