किसी प्रेमी या प्रेयसी की प्रेम कथा लिखूँ

या किसी बिरहन की बिरह व्यथा लिखूँ
कल्पना कर डालूँ ऊँचे भव्य महलों की

फुटपाथ का जीवन या कोई सिसकता लिखूँ
व्यर्थ ही लिख दूँ देश को हम बचायेंगे

या हाँथो से अपने ही राष्ट्र डूबता लिखूँ
टूट कर बिखरा हुआ लिख दूँ क्या वर्तमान 

या आ रहा है जो भविष्य काँपता लिखूँ
आजाद बोस गाँधी की लिखता रहूँ कथा 

या दिल से देशभक्ति हुई लापता लिखूँ
लिख दूँ दीवाली के दियों का टिमटिमाना क्या 

या उनके तले अंधकार झाँकता लिखूँ
लिख दूँ बड़े घर में स्टैच्यू साड़ियाँ पहने

या किसी मजदूर घर की नग्नता लिखूँ
झूँठ लिख कर मै तुम्हें खुश कर दूँ हँसा दूँ

या रो पड़ो सुन कर के ऐसी सत्यता लिखूँ
बस इस उधेड़बुन में  उलझी है कलम 

कोई कर दे हल समस्या दे बता मैं क्या लिखूँ


Posted by on October 30, 2017 in random thoughts



May I say something before I go?
I hold my breath, but you keep breathing. How come?
I’ve sent you my letter many times, anyway’s I think the wind took them. Please take this letter in earnest, because I will never write you again, and not because I don’t have time, but because I am losing my hope in you, catch me soon. Tonight I am looking at the sky, and I feel how every single star has died in my eyes. I am so afraid that you could die at once with them. So afraid that I will never meet you, even if I said that I don’t believe in you anymore. There are probably many people who ponder this question
“Who are you?”. But what really bothers me is if I will meet you, could you be as in our first moment when we saw each other. Can you be soulful for all your life? The one who can fly, be scared, cry, die and live, who can love. The one who is not afraid to leave his body, his priority, who never will be afraid to breathe once with me, without having anything.
And if you can be real, can you promise me that you will never lie to me, that you will be transparent as a tear drop? Can you promise me that you will never give life to words if you don’t feel them in your veins? Can you promise me that you will never hurt my world?
Under my eyelash I see the world somber, and I am tired of this cloudy sky, with every single day I am so far from believing in your shadow. I am walking alone on this earth, but I can feel your hand hold mine without any space. I know you will always be next to me, because in the night we reflect in the same moon, in the same sky. And the depth in our soul is a big abyss. I don’t know you but I can feel you, I know that I am falling deeply and slowly in your eyes with every sunset. You live under my skin, in my veins, through my bones. Sometimes you can hurt me and I have, in that place rust. But sometimes you can make me as happy as the sky, I don’t want to open my eyes.
I thought about you last night, when lighting cut the sky and the sky started to cry. I saw your eyes, clear in my mind, almost as if you were looking right at me. Your voice was in my mind. Your touch was on my skin, almost like you were holding me close, and I felt under my skin every single touch. And I love how you listened to me when I talk about something, about nothing, about everything.
People complain about this life, and they lose time making themselves busy, they look down instead of looking up to the sky, up…to the sun. The world can’t hurt you if you stop to seeing the happiness in the sky, in the world around you. We start to be pieces of a scar, walking every day on the same ground with the same tracks.
May I say something before I go?
It’s been a long time that I cannot breathe.

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Posted by on October 29, 2017 in random thoughts


Poet’s Pen

Unlike soldiers called to war, we have no army to support our call.

With blind abandonment, we travel into the castle of our soles. There is no light, no sound, nothing but the sense that we must move forward and enter this castle and knock upon each Chamber’s door.

There are many chambers and many doors within this castle we call the soul. Without reason or, sense of normality, on we go, through each chamber’s darkened, door.

Each chamber contains a story, some filled with glory, some filled with shame and pain. We do not know what we will find, but still we go through each Chamber’s door. With nothing but our poet’s pen in hand, prepared to write in great detail, about all we find within. There is no light to guide our way, no sound to replace the loss of sight, yet, still we search and strive to find and knock upon each chamber’s door.

The poet has no protection save the pen, and without hesitation, walks through each chamber’s door.., Sometimes we shake and tremble, sometimes we feel no fear at all, its always different, its never the same, for there are many chambers and many doors, within this castle of our sole.

I came upon one chamber door and sensed I’d been here, once before. Suddenly, I felt such fear, so all alone and knew there was great danger near. It must have been the power in my poet’s pen, held tightly in my shaking hand, that began to tap upon this chamber door. My God, My God, what are you doing? This I asked of my poetic friend, surely, we will both die, if your tapping gets us through this chamber’s door! I fear, I fear, I have been at this chamber door before and know what lies within! 

I shook my hand, hoping to free myself from this poet’s pen, I cried out loud and tears of fear filled my eyes, don’t, don’t, God please, don’t let us in! However, to no avail from my God or my poet’s pen, both God and pen, walked right through my words and pulled me in kicking and screaming, through this chamber’s door.

If I could but find a way to escape this castle of my soul with all its horrors, hidden behind so many chamber doors, I swear, I will never write again and forever, would abandon this curse of curses called the Poet’s Pen.

Without mercy, without concern for my safety, I was cast through this darkened, chamber’s door. The chamber was dark at first, then slowly, almost softly, there was this light, it filled my chamber of fear and revealed, every single person that I have ever loved, every friend I ever had, every kind word ever spoken to me, I heard and saw them all again. Every warm, sunny day, filled with fun and love, I lived once again. All this I was given in an instant, all of this was behind this chamber door I had feared so much, just a few minutes before.

One other thing I saw, laying on a table was this solid gold pen, its tip was a diamond, the brightest and most brilliant light I had ever seen radiated from the tip of this solid gold pen.

As I approached this heavenly sight, I noticed there was a piece of paper, like a note one would leave for a friend. Upon it was written in solid gold these words…,

“You are a poet, I am your pen, never lose faith in me again.”


Posted by on October 28, 2017 in random thoughts


The Session

Looking down at you and staring deep into your pretty eyes, I love to see the look change on your face as I slowly force every inch of myself inside you.. Giving you a bit and taking it out until the tip flicks you and thrusting back inside getting deeper every time.. Your moans they turn to screams and the sound of my name escapes your body as if it had been trapped there for a lifetime, your body grows tense and I feel that moment which is so intense and pure. Reaching down to place my hand around your throat, oh to see those eyes roll back while you gently begin to choke.. You bite that bottom lip and your hands dig into my flesh scratching up my chest.. Bending your legs back, forcing my hips into you so your knees bend back and touch your chest.. Trapped under me, helpless and at my mercy and all you can do is lay back and take this until I decide you’ve had enough, and I won’t be satisfied until you’ve released and given me every drop of it you have inside of you.. I increase the speed of my strokes, thrust a little deeper inside that tight pussy and grip a little tighter on your throat as I lean down to kiss your lips.. I feel the breath escape your lungs and your body start to shake uncontrollably, wrapping your arms around my neck and gripping the back of my head by my hair.. I can feel you begin to lose control, and with one final thrust you release for me and let go.. Exploding for me, drenching my body, staining the sheets, all while screaming my name at the top of your lungs.. I don’t stop until I’m sure that we both reached our heights and both are tired and you release your grip of me and simply collapse underneath me.. I brace myself, both of us still shaking, dripping in sweat, I look down into your eyes and without saying a word lean down to kiss you gently on your forehead.. I feel you sink a little more into the bed and let out a heavy sigh of relieve as you drift off to sleep, to what I hope will be sweet dreams.. 

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Posted by on October 26, 2017 in random thoughts


Expectation hurts

Dhyan is a software engineer who is good looking and have a good sense of humour, always he tries to keep everyone happy around him just to hide his sorrows behind the happiness of the people with whom he spends time. People around him never knows that he has a deep pain in his heart ,apart from his few best buddies.

The only thing which makes him happy is a few whatsapp notifications from his partial-ex girlfriend Vrinda, who looks like a cute little girl with a unique voice,she is talkative but not expressive and emotional like Dhyan. You might be thinking now what is partial-ex. yes he always thinks that his ex is a partial ex girlfriend just because she is still in touch with him and hoping that she would come back to him one day, he had a very strong intuition that she will come back because the reason for their break up was not because of them but because of religion & family, they mutually agreed on this hard decision. This was one of the reasons for his deep pain the other reason he never disclosed with Vrinda nor with his friends, so it will not be shared with the readers as well.
Every day when he woke up from his bed, he always checks his whatsapp just to see if Vrinda has sent him a message, his mind knows very well that this will never happen but his heart always wanted to do this which he feels that the message will make his day, one fine weekend he did the same and he was surprised and happy to see a message from Vrinda saying that “are you still sleeping” but that day he didn’t reply instantly to check whether again she texts something, Surprisingly after sometime she texts him that nice DP with a smiley, he was very happy like a guy whose proposal got accepted and he started the chat and it got continued for 30 mins this time the chat was very soft ,sweet and he felt some love in her text messages after that she told him that she is going to drive to her aunt’s home will text him in another 30 minutes,he said okay and was eagerly waiting for her text like a small kid who is eagerly waiting for the last period school bell.
She never texts him back when ever she said she will ping him in few minutes as I told you earlier his mind knows that but as always his heart was eagerly waiting. Ting ting a text message arrived he unlocked his phone by drawing the unlock pattern very quickly , he was very fast even his mobile didn’t recognize the pattern, second time he slowly drew the unlock pattern in his mobile like a student who is trying to draw a circle without a compass while doing this he was thinking that this message should not be from the crappy groups, he unlocked and to his surprise yes it was a message from Vrinda “Hi Idiot” when ever she is in a good mood she texts him idiot,dumbo etc.. He was very happy to see these messages from her and realized that she is in a good mood and wanted to talk something to him, she told him I am going to say something but I don’t know how you will take this, he replied in a ultra sonic speed yes dear tell me !!!??. She replied yesterday I had a dream. He asked was it about me ?.she replied yes. This drove him crazy and after years this was the the first time Vrinda is saying that Dhyan came in her dreams after seeing this text he was literally flying and jumping and he thought that he got her back, she increased the anxiety by not saying about the dream but she was replying with one word answers.
He thought she is feeling shy to say that , so he said come on dear tell me what ever it is. Then after a small gap she said that I had dream like we both are getting married. This was the moment he was waiting for and he looked the roof like a sign of thanking God for this moment and slowly tears rolled over his cheeks and he thought this is a smart and cute proposal after a break up ,he whipped his tears started sending all the lovely Smiley’s and typed I am so happy dear this was the moment I was waiting for here after I can proudly say you are mine ummma.
While his cheeks was still wet with his tears of joy her reply made those tears of joy into sorrow. She replied “ Dhyan dont mistake me, I have heard that dreams will not happen when it is shared with the person who is involved that’s why I shared this with you, I am sorry I didn’t expect that you will take this in a wrong way, I didn’t want to hurt you but I love my parents more than anything thing in this world”
That dream which Vrinda shared changed him, he realized that she dont even want to marry him in her dreams, just because it should not happen she shared it to him.
Dhyan blocked Vrinda in whats app and changed his what’s app status to “Expectation hurts”,which his wife Ankita is still asking to change.



Posted by on October 26, 2017 in random thoughts


From Pizza with Love

​I munched the cheese sandwich and forced it down my throat. It tasted like cardboard and I could literally feel it passing over to my empty stomach. My thoughts were occupied by an infuriating girl.
It had been that way since the day I met her. I could feel the tears collecting over my eyelashes. I missed her. I missed her smell. I missed her eyes. I missed her voice. Hell, I even missed the sound of her breath. It had been two solid days, since we last spoke. The two greatest things that life had given me was: her love and football. So, I tried to distract myself by indulging my body and mind with football. But football couldn’t keep her off my mind. I was out of focus the entire time I spent at the field. My teammates seemed to be disappointed with my performance, I myself felt disappointed with it, but I couldn’t help it. All my attempts to forget her ended up in vain. So I finally gave up and spent my every second of every day with her thoughts hovering my mind. Her presence made me feel alive, it made me a better version of myself. I was madly in love with her. Her eyes held a spark that no girl could possibly have. Even thinking about it made me feel alive. It made me feel sense, sense of what an idiot I was to let her go. That sense  made me feel disgusted over myself for sitting and munching a bad cheese sandwich and feeling depressed that she left me instead of trying to get her back. She was my life, how could I live without her? 
I made up my mind that I simply could not live in depression and quickly got up from the chair and walked towards the garage. I could hear my mother’s distant voice asking me what I was upto. I didn’t bother to reply, I just waved my hands at her, signalling a bye and drove the car out. It took me a while to realize that her anger on me was at its peak. I had to do something that would make her forget the anger. I tried to recall the million moments she and I shared together, searching for that one thing which will make her get out off the anger. Then, it striked to me, food. She loves eating. I wanted to make that whole apology scenario a little funny, yet it must prove my point. It must show how sorry I was. I ran through the events that happened that day, from eating a sandwich to feeling depressed to thinking about her eyes to the spark that made me feel sense. She encouraged me into that and suddenly, I felt how lucky I was to have met her. I could not let her go and I will not. My mind got out of the thought process and started jotting down the endless list of food items she loved the most. I tried to pick a few which held an emotional or memorable meaning to both of us and the obvious answer was, pizza. Our first date was to a pizza place. I recalled the way her face lit up when the waiter had placed the dish on our table. She savoured each and every mouth of it, her face etched with a smile throughout the entire evening. I even remember how she politely thanked the waiter for serving us. I fell for her madly, that day.
 I drove my way to the same pizza place and placed an order for a customized pizza. I asked them to add all the toppings I knew she’d love. I payed for the pizza and left the place. I then drove to an English Café known for it’s cheese cakes. She was the one who brought me there first and I instantly got addicted to the taste of the cheese cake. I bought two of those and placed them in the passenger seat of my car, next to the pizza box. I took a pen out of the dashboard and opened the pizza box. The smell of the pizza filled my nostrils, it was wonderful and I was sure that  she’d love it. I wrote a ‘Sorry’ message at the inside of the opened lid and drew a heart around it. It looked perfect. I closed the box and drove my way to her house. Within minutes, I reached the street where her house was located. As I entered the street, I could see a car parked infront of her house. I then saw her parents getting into the car, followed by her brother. I silently prayed that she mustn’t go with them because then I’d have to eat the pizza and cheese cake all by myself. All my plan would go for a waste. My prayers didn’t go in vain, she stood at a distance and waved a good-bye to her family. The situation couldn’t be more perfect. I mentally did a somersault and waited for the car to leave the place. After the car left, I slowly drove towards the house and looked out for signs of other people. After few minutes of scanning the locality, I was quiet sure that she was alone. I went towards the door with the pizza and cheese cakes in my hand. I took a minute before ringing the bell to open the box and place the cheese cake on either side of the pizza. I rang the bell and the 20 seconds wait was the longest wait ever! The door opened with a click. She looked so pretty. She was dressed in a grey T-shirt and white tracks. Her eyes never failed to mesmerize me. I mentally whistled at how beautiful she looked. I quickly got out of the stance and studied her expression. It was null. I could make out nothing from it. Her eyes racked slowly towards the box in my hand and I swear that I saw a faint smile play over her lips. It was a good sign. I quickly bent on my knees and said, 
“Please forgive me. I simply can’t live without you”, and put on the best innocent smile I could. Her expression was still null. A part of me started losing hope that she’d forgive me. Just as I started thinking that all this was for a waste, her expression slowly changed to a smile and she started laughing. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. She took the pizza box from my hand and gently placed her lips on mine. The kiss was gentle and soft. I placed my hands on her waist and kissed her with equal intensity. After a while, she took her lips off mine and said, “I wouldn’t have forgiven you if it was not for the pizza”. 
“So, you love pizza more than me?”, I countered. 
“Apparently, yes.”, she replied with a mock attitudish tone.
I smiled with relief, realizing that she was back being her old self. 
“You may come in.”, she said with the same tone and turned around. 
We were back again, so I had to get back to being myself, right? I gently held her waist and lifted her, my other arm lifting her knees. She gave a squeak and started giggling. 
“Yes, let’s go in”, I replied by adapting the tone she used a while back. 
She mock glared at me and placed one of her arms around my neck, the other arm holding the pizza box. 
“I love you, you know.”, she said. 
“I love you baby.”, I replied and the kiss that followed seemed to last for hours. 
I mentally thanked the people responsible for the discovery of pizza and cheese cake, without whom my life would’ve been miserable! 


Posted by on October 25, 2017 in Short Fiction


Shadow Romance 

I touched her. I felt her warmth. It went through my fingers to my hands, seeping inside my skin, going deep into my nerves and then reaching my bones.

I kissed her. I felt her softness. It went inside her  lips giving them a new shade of pink, going deep and moving upwards, to her cheeks.

I went on top of her. I took control over her. Parting her hands and wraping them around me, i kissed her wet everywhere. Making sure that my kisses reached her where she hide his insanity.

I made love to her. I made her feel as beautiful as she had made me feel when she made love to me. Not even an inch of her skin remained untouched from my lips or from my tongue or from my fingers.

The night got darker and she disappeared. Her shadow disappeared and i was left alone, staring at the wall. Waiting for her shadow to re-appear so i could disappear with her. Into het world of darkness and kiss her and touch her and make love to her. And create a world where it would only be about us.

I wait for her shadow to re-appear.


Posted by on October 25, 2017 in random thoughts

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