Let’s Start it again

If I only had that one chance to sit down and get to know you.

Our words might exchange to each others eyes but, what about our actions?
I told you I liked you but I am unsure of your answer.
I feel like a little boy again, crushing off words that never showed.
I feel like a little boy again, smiling at messages and just waiting for that one line I’m dying to see you say.
I feel like a little boy again, waiting to see you in my presence.
If I only had that one chance to be with you for a week and see if our words really fit our actions.
I mean we only went out one time, that was a,temple.
I mean that could count as our time spent together.
You were playing with my ear on the bike as we left but, I wasn’t sure if that was you trying to get my attention.
Then I thought about it, maybe it was.
That was our only time together besides high school.
High school, can’t really get to know each other like grown adults because we were in mature.
Now, that we are out I wonder if things change.
Are we still going to beat around the bush like little high school kids and crushing on messages?
Or. ..
Are we going to sit down and actually get to know one another like adults?
I asked you about what do you think of when you see the word foundation in a friendship?
You said the exact words I was looking for.
You told me why you were single.
I mean u can recover from that hurt, I can honestly say.
I recovered from the pain I was feeling in the past.
So….
Let’s build our foundation in our “Friendship”
And
See how this goes.
I’m really feeling your flavor and I can honestly say you are a girl that I am looking for.
Some how you clicked that “add friend” button and found me.
I’m glad you got back in touch with me.
God probably knew I needed you because our conversation has not stopped since that day.

 

Looking for answers

I find it fascinating how I could occasionally write so freely . How the words would flow right out my fingertips without the usual frown that accompanied most ideas. It is as if all those times there had been a wall standing tall in the middle of my thoughts and insecurities, hiding one and pushing one into existence. And I swear, when I would close my eyes; I could see that wall. Barely noticeable, yet never diffusing.
 This is one of those times, I feel an electric charge at the tip of my hands as though the words are begging to be let out, to be freed, to see the light of day or more honestly; the light of my barely lit room.
I envied people. For always knowing exactly what to say and what do, in situations where I would most definitely halt . For being ignorant yet maintaining their happiness. How could such atrocities feel joy while I could in fact; not. Why must I be haunted by the same thoughts but at the same time feel as though I was not. What is that feeling called? I have searched relentlessly through books, in the hope of finding a relatable sense. To be and not to be at the same time? To think and not think all at once?
Where is the question dearest Shakespeare? Does it lay with the answer to my troubles? Or would it only trouble the water I barely foresee.