The Wall

The thing about walls is they begin before you do. So as you begin to form in the womb, nature’s instinct is to immediately keep you in and the world out, all at once. From that moment we’re taught that to protect yourself you need to be on the inside and keep everything else on the outside. Until you’re ready. Strong enough. Equipped. Ready to deal with whatever awaits you when you venture beyond your confines. So life begins as a battle of wits and curiosity. To outsmart whatever is on the other side of the wall whilst trying to figure out what the other side actually is. How much wall is too much wall? How much is not enough? What will happen if I let her in? Where will it go if I keep her out? Who is worth being on the inside? What do I regret keeping out? And so we get two types of people: those with hedonistic reckless abandon who couldn’t give a fuck about the wall and believe the best form of defence is attack. The ones who create their own wall and tell you how to build yours. The cheats, the players, the game makers and changers. And then there’s the second type. The ones who spend their whole life trying to second guess how much wall was enough to keep the first type interested. Which brick it should have been? How high? What colour? The ones who compromise and give. Follow and forgive. Keep love and relationships ticking over. And so this cat and mouse game continues as you pass through the full cycle of life to another set of four walls. The last four walls. And it’s then I sometimes wish I could ask those people, at that moment, that in all their years of walls and guards and barriers – which option had really, truly served them best? Which of the two people they had eventually become?”